Top Pickup Lines...

I was just over at the Cyber Saloon, and lemme tell ya, it was SHOCKING....about half of the patrons were getting smacked by lovely ladies, and the OTHER half were being invited back to the Champagne Room for some..*quiet time*......I was listening pretty close, and here are the lines they were using...over at Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon...can you guess which members of the Corner of the Bar Gang go with these pick-up lines??

1. I wish you were a door so I could slam you all day.

2. Nice legs...what time do they open?

3. Do you work for UPS? I thought I saw you checking out my package.

4. You've got 206 bones in your body, want one more?

5. Can I buy you a drink or do you just want the money?

6. I may not be the best looking guy in here, but I'm the only one
talking to you.

7. I'm a bird watcher and I'm looking for a Big Breasted Bed Thrasher: have you seen one?

8. I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on earth tonight.

9. Want to play army? I'll lay down and you can blow the hell outta me.

10. I wish you were a Pony Carousel outside Superdrug, so I could ride you all day long for a quarter.

11. Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a Braille name tag.

12. I'd really like to see how you look when I'm naked.

13. Is that a ladder in your stockings or the stairway to heaven?

14. You might not be the best looking girl here, but beauty is only a light switch away.

15. Are those real?

16. You must be the limp doctor because I've got a stiffy.

17. I'd walk a million miles for one of your smiles, and even farther for that thing you do with your tongue.

18. If it's true that we are what we eat, then I could be you by morning.

19. (Look down at your crotch) Well It's not just going to suck itself.

20. You know, if I were you, I'd have sex with me.

21. You. Me. Whipped cream. Handcuffs. Any questions?

22. F@# me if I'm wrong, but is your name Sherry Titsbottom?

23. Those clothes would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor.

24. My name is (name)...remember that, you'll be screaming it later.

25. Do you believe in love at first sight or should I walk by again?

26. Hi, I'm Mr. Right. Someone said you were looking for me.

27. My friend wants to know if YOU think I'M cute.

28. Hi. The voices in my head told me to come over and talk to you.

29. My name isn't Elmo, but you can tickle me anytime you want to.

30. I know milk does a body good, but DAMN, how much have you been drinking?

31. If you were the last woman and I was the last man on earth, I bet we could do it in public.

32. Wanna come over for some pizza and sex? No? Why? Don't you like pizza?

33. Baby, I'm an American Express shouldn't go home without me.

34. Do you sleep on your stomach? Can I???

35. Do you wash your pants in Windex? Because I can see myself in them.

36. I lost my puppy. Can you help me find him? I think he went into this cheap motel room.

37. (Lick finger and wipe on her shirt) Let's get you out of these wet clothes

Courtesy of Strange Cosmos....

by Eric on October 24, 2003 | Comments(5) | Jokes

Comments so far:

Number 19. Definitely number 19.
It wouldn't work, but it's damn funny.
And so similar to the line I normally use, too.

posted by: LeeAnn on October 24, 2003 03:33 PM

..hmmm...24 and 25 are a tie for me...I love BOTH of those...

posted by: Eric on October 24, 2003 05:23 PM

That was really good! I'm sure you've tried each and every one of those. Did any of them work?

posted by: The Bartender on October 24, 2003 11:05 PM

My other comment didn't post but...

There is no SEX on the Champagne Room!

posted by: The Bartender on October 24, 2003 11:05 PM

Bartender - the key to pickup lines is to get the "victim" grinning...a lot of ladies really enjoy a guy with a sense of humor...with that said...all of the lines can work...heh.. if delivered properly!

posted by: Eric on October 26, 2003 03:10 PM