A Nickname...

....ever had a nickname?... I never did... at least, not in the real sense of a childhood-moniker.... sure, I've done crazy stuff before, and gotten a "nickname" for a while... but, they never stuck.... in reality, I didn't like having a nickname... my name is Eric, dammit, and that's what I want to be called.... of course, the NATURAL Southern nickname for me would be "Red"... and, if you wanna piss me off, just call me "Red' and see what happens...."Eric the Red" is different... I don't mind that one so much.... hell, I'd even deal with "Carrot Top" before I put up with "Red"....anyway, I was just over at Lawren's Blog, and I read her post about Bed Bugs.... it got me to thinking about an old story... my Grandpa told me once...

...a good friend of my Grandpa's was "Karo" Wilson... well, maybe not a "good friend", but an acquaintance... hell, I don't know... it doesn't matter... anyway, he lived on the next-farm-over.... and, he'd come over to visit my Grandpa from time to time.... they'd sit on the back porch and tell old tales... sip some sweet tea... chew some King Bee twist tobacco.... and just generally act like happy old dirtfarm Hillbillies.... one day, just after Karo left... I was sitting on the back porch soaking up Grandpa's country wisdom, and I inquired about "Karo's" nickname.... Grandpa started laughing.... now, for those of you who are uninitiated with "Karo", it is a sweet, thick, clear corn syrup.... we used to use it on our pancakes instead of Maple Syrup...

....He told me that the whole community had been calling Karo that for 20 years or more... it seems that Mr. Wilson lived alone... and, sometimes he had a wee bit too much of the 'shine.....evidently, he also had a bedbug problem.... one night, after a hard day of drinking, he stumbled home and fell into bed.... after a few hours, he wakes up to find himself covered with bedbugs..... in a fit of drunken rage, he heads to the kitchen, and produces a jar of kerosene... which, he pours around the edge of his mattress... thinking that he has killed the menacing beasts, he slides back under the ragged blanket, and goes back to sleep... it was not until morning... in the clear, sober light of day... that he realized he had poured Karo corn syrup all over his bed... and slept in it all night...

..he recounted that story to someone in town... and the legend began... and Mr. Wilson was known as "Karo" from that moment forward...

...some days, I think I missed out by not having a nickname... then I think of Mr. Wilson.. and I'm glad I've never earned a nickname... yet..

by Eric on February 18, 2004 | Comments(2) | SWG Stories

Comments so far:

Never be upset with not having a nickname. Just try having to live with a last name that rhymes with beaver and your mother's name actually being June. I am not joking on this.

posted by: Tina on February 18, 2004 10:55 PM

"Jack" is actually a nickname for "John" in my case. Try being named "Jack" during high school when hormones are raging and "Jack-*ff" is the reference to a certain activity engaged in quite a bit by hormonal teenage boys...

posted by: Jack on February 19, 2004 12:08 AM