Murder Most Foul...

...alright, people... whoever the hell invented the goddam Women's Entertainment Channel should be located immediately, and shot right between the eyes.. or, double-tapped gently with a 9mm... Military style... either way is fine, I don't care... THEN, we need to find the no-good sonofabitch who invented the Lifetime Movie Network... THAT Bastard should get it next... except, with them, they get slowly boiled in a vat of white vinegar first.... then, pulled out at the last minute to have their skin peeled off... out and out Death is too good for that prick/bitch... I want THEM to fucking SUFFER....

...the line for the lynch mob starts on the left, folks... these insidious chick flicks must be culled, and I mean NOW... evil is truly among us now, children..

...all able-bodied troops are ordered to form in the Kitchen at 1900 tonight for a briefing... Operation "Get Back The Fucking Remote Control" will kick off at 1930 sharp... after the victory, all wounded may retire to the Blogroom to await medicinal Scotch....

by Eric on April 20, 2004 | Comments(21) | SWG Stories
Gut Rumbles links with: sexist pig

Comments so far:

These channels are not women's channels, they are forums for aggrieved feminists and lesbyterians to broadcast movies in which every single damned male (except for the gay hairdresser confidant) is either a wife-beater, a daughter-raper, a murderer, a congenital adulterer, or the ice-cold-blood-in-his-veins father who refuses to accept the fact that his son is gay, and somehow caught AIDS from the moondust wafting through his window at night because the cheap bastard dad wouldn't pay for a new window. I curse them. They have it all wrong. You beat your mistress, and rape your son. Don't these people know anything?

posted by: Velociman on April 20, 2004 08:31 PM

I like the WE channel. I'm not real fond of the LMN. All they show are movies about women being raped. Yuk!!

posted by: drc on April 20, 2004 08:34 PM

As a woman, I have to say I agree. It's always the same damned theme with just about all the shows on there. And how many damned times do we really need to see the friggin' Golden Girls????

posted by: Asherah on April 20, 2004 09:31 PM

I agree... tis a sad, sad state of affairs.... but, it's all we've got...

...oh..and for those who are wondering... the battle went well.. mucho ass was kicked... the remote was taken back.. but, damn... those blood stains are NOT going to come out of the carpet..

posted by: Eric on April 20, 2004 09:58 PM

I have no interest in those channels. I was turned off after a series of commercials begain some time ago...perhaps you may recall a bunch of babies in bassinets..the ones in pink began "showing their strength". It was feminist garbage and even I was offended by it.

posted by: Donna on April 20, 2004 10:18 PM


I took a hit! I'm down but I have the remote. Awaiting further instructions. Pass the Scotch in the meantime.

posted by: bitterman on April 21, 2004 01:23 AM

Donna - completely agreed! I'd watch Spike TV any day over that crap. LOL

posted by: Asherah on April 21, 2004 07:18 AM

Ooohh!!! I love SpikeTV!!

posted by: drc on April 21, 2004 08:31 AM

Personally, I hate those channels. I think Lifetime just had a promo for an entire day of INFIDELITY movies! WTF???

I like the Discovery channel. Monster House, Monster Garage, American Chopper.... and the History channel.

And TVLAND. Don't laugh. ;)

posted by: pam on April 21, 2004 08:43 AM

Time to review the Retrosexual Creed:

posted by: Harvey on April 21, 2004 11:35 AM

Pam - I think LMN's primary goal is to make every woman within their viewing areas become paranoid that they are either being stalked, cheated on, had their kid switched at birth, have some fucked up disease, or are about to be murdered. LOL

posted by: Asherah on April 21, 2004 01:19 PM

I took care of it - I just don't watch TV - end of problem. Now when I do see television, it really looks lame. Especially the newer shows.

But even in the day when we had the mucho big cable package, I never watched those channels. I'd stop, look, and hit the channel change button.

posted by: Teresa on April 21, 2004 04:28 PM

I think Lifetime's sucky. I much prefer SpikeTV, The History Channel, and American Chopper.

How's THAT?


posted by: maura on April 21, 2004 07:56 PM

Sign me up for the mob! Velociman is entirely correct. I'll take Comedy Central, Spike TV, Fox News, and pretty much any football game playing, thank you very much.

posted by: Jim on April 21, 2004 09:09 PM

The day of Infidelity was on a SUNDAY!! What does that tell ya?
This old broad HATES Lifetime. I'll watch Spike or The Man Show anyday!

posted by: Ruby on April 21, 2004 09:19 PM

Hate LMN! Prefer Animal Planet. Yes, yes, I know, *yawn.*
Can't help it.

posted by: scorpy on April 22, 2004 08:44 AM

There's a reason I don't watch that channel...I can't stand the angst. If I want any more of it, I can call one of three people. And none of them get paid tons of cash to emote at that campy level.

posted by: Da Goddess on April 22, 2004 12:59 PM

I don't mine LMN or WE about 5% of the time. But it does seem that they replay the same old shit over and over and they do bash us guys quite a bit.

I usually watch Spike, Sci-Fi and FX. Usuallythere is something on that pleases both my girl-friend and I.


posted by: drew on April 22, 2004 04:56 PM

I could say the same for things like "The Man Show" "The Dukes of Hazzard" "Jackass" and so on.

posted by: Lori on April 23, 2004 02:36 AM

screw the girlie channel. One of my friends is an addict of the whole "Ripped from today's headlines!!" genre.
Phew. when i get cable again, I BETTER get the Speed Channel.

Note to programming execs everywhere: Some of us women are not interested in pink, being mommies, housework, or cooking. This particular one, and most of her friends, like cars. Cars, Cars, CARS. And not some retar "woman-designed Volvo". We want horsepower, and lots of it. Anything less than 300 is just shameful.

posted by: pril on April 23, 2004 01:30 PM

I like Oxygen myself. That foxy old sass on the sunday night sex show always makes for good Self abuse material. Ga Rowwwl

posted by: Yogimus on April 24, 2004 02:18 AM