Indigo Did It Again..

dangit....Indigo got me again....making me tear up on a Sunday morning....go now, and read will remind you again, that ALL people in this world are not assholes....thank you, Indigo....

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My Mother and I went to visit my Brother yesterday in Nashville. She drove...I like it when she gives me a chance to sit back and enjoy the scenery along I-40...the weather was great, and we zipped right along at a pretty good pace...once we got into Nahsville, the traffic started getting a little rougher...and, as we slowed to get off on our exit ramp, I was surprised to hear my Mother say, "Yeah, whatever, little man..hehehe...c'mon, little man..come on around..Have a nice day..heheeheh"....I turned to look at her, and she was smiling and waving out the window at this incredibly irate man in a beat up Impala.. could see him moving his mouth, and waving the "bird" at us as he zoomed past....we exited onto the ramp at around 80 miles per hour....seemingly, he had run up quickly behind us, and thought we weren't going fast enough to suit him....

I looked at my Mom, and said..."what was his problem?"..

She just smiled and said..."I don't know, Honey...some people are just assholes.."...ahhh..that's my Mom...

....We laughed for a little while, and then she said..."You know, a few years ago, if someone had done that, I'd have pulled over and given him a piece of my mind...but, now, I know that it really doesn't matter what that guy says...or what he thinks....he is just an asshole..."

I said..."I know what you mean, Mom...I think you should start a blog..."

She didn't really hear what I'd said, and she continued to drive us along...and then, almost as an afterthought, she said to herself..."besides, my days of being intimidated and angry are is too dang short to worry about assholes"...

...she moved her left hand down to the side of the door, and adjusted her .38 that was resting in the little pocket there..."Eric, I sure do miss your Daddy..he always made me feel safe"....

....."old defenseless widow", my ass..

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Pam is SUCKING UP to the JUDGES! NO FAIR!! ehehheheh...ya big cheater!!.....anyway..uh...incidentally...anyone bloggin' nekkid tonight?....maybe we should all get dressed, and head on down to Madfish Willie's Champagne Room....I hear he's hired some new "talent"...

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In the Limelight at last..

It seems that just MAYBE there is an upside to this whole "Paris Hilton" fizzle....Porn is suddenly...quietly....becoming an acceptable subject for educated conversation...hmmm...

"Intelligent writing about porn will always find an audience - but I think we've been helped along by certain factors," says d'Addario - including "the increasing acceptance of porn as a topic of mainstream conversation".

Even the conventional press is in agreement. "Fleshbot might best be described as an erudite pornography site," wrote the New York Times, "with the same kind of catty writing and timely links that have made Gawker a must-read for New York's gossip crowd."

"Catty writing"?....I'm not quite sure...but I think I like that phrase...

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Bloggin' Nekkid

Okey Dokey....for those of you who don't know, Beth is running a poll on a new logo for all of us Nekkid Bloggers out, run over there and vote for your fav...there are quite a few to choose from....choose wisely....

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Off to Nashville..

Well, I'm off to Nashville for the day...Have fun, y'all.....

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I was just sitting here...and some words started popping into my mind......words that, when reading them, are quite normal....until you use them in a certain context...I mean...they aren't ALWAYS bad....but, they are SOMETIMES bad....know what I mean? are a selection....comments, as usual, are ALWAYS appreciated.....hmmm..what is the dirtiest "clean" word you can think of....


...whew....sorry about that......go and talk amongst yourselves....I have to go and have a moment...

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Pool Table Results

Well, the bloggin' has been slow this afternoon because Steve came over....We did our normal Sunday afternoon showdown are the results..

8-Ball - Steve, 7 to 4
9-Ball - Eric 7 to 4..

HA! all evens out in the grand scheme of one point, though, in 9-Ball, I had him down 6 to, he made a bit of a comeback...but, color me happy.....cuz, I'm happy..

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What's in a Name?

I was just over at the Acidman's blog, and he's talking about Rednecks and Yankees...I like names...I heard a great definition of Yankee once....I can't remember where I heard it, or if I read it somewhere...but, reading his post just made me think of it...anyway, it went something like this..

What is a Yankee?...To everyone on the planet, a Yankee is an an American, a Yankee is someone from the "North" a Northerner, a Yankee is someone from New a New Englander, a Yankee is someone from someone from Vermont, a Yankee is someone from Vermont who doesn't have indoor plumbing...

From that definition, it looks like everyone keeps pointing the finger at someone else...I guess the same can sometimes be said about Redneck..or probably any name you want to call people....language is incredible..

While I lived overseas, I got called a Yankee a lot...I didn't mind it one bit...even though I'm from in Tennessee, no one calls me a Yankee...It really doesn't matter to's just a name...I've been called a Redneck in a jovial way...and, I've been called a Redneck in an aggressive, derisory way..the same as I have been called a Yankee in both ways....the name doesn't mean much on it's is the way that it is delivered....the tone...the intent of the speaker, I suppose...

I think of myself as a Redneck because of my family roots...but, I guess I am not really one....I don't farm, thus no red, it is kinda like that "What is a Yankee" just depends on your individual, in the eyes of the World, I'm a the eyes of an American, I'm probably a the eyes of most Rednecks I know, I'm decidedly not a Redneck...

..damn, this is starting to get confusing now...I'd better stop...

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Keep Your Barn Locked...

No comment...

Area horse owners, especially those around Echo Lake, may want to keep a close eye on their equine companions after two recent instances of abuse and theft.

A naked man was found having intercourse with a horse in a stable on McCaffery Road around 6:30 a.m. on Nov. 17. Flathead County Sheriff Jim Dupont said the man, still nude, fled on foot when the owner of the horse entered the stable.

"He left his boots and a bottle of hand lotion behind," Dupont said.

People are weird....

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Go Forth, Children...and Drink....

The fountain is flowing...Bill's cup is overflowing...get on over there.....Bill's not dead after all!

Welcome back, Mr. Whittle, and Happy Thanksgiving!

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Happy Blogiversary!

Everyone go over and wish Parkway Reststop a happy blog-birthday...he is 1 year old TODAY!...keep up the good work, buddy, and you are dead right about not putting your chocolates near the bathroom....

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It's Finally Here..

Happy Thanksgiving, everyone....I started craving Turkey, gravy, and dressing two weeks ago....and today is the day...YEE HAAAA!....This year, the shindig is being hosted by my Aunt Kathy...I asked her yesterday what is on the menu, and she FLOORED me with this short list...

Turkey, honey baked ham, mashed potatoes, gravy, creamed corn, cornbread, dressing, macaroni and cheese, cole slaw, pumpkin pie, tossed salad, fried okra, corn on the cob, baked beans, home made rolls, coconut cake, sausage balls, cheesecake, cranberry sauce, sauerkraut, deviled eggs, potato salad, pasta salad, and spring rolls....DAMN!....

..let the grubfest begin....

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Gotta Go...

"Dead Poet's Society" is on...sorry, folks...carpe diem..and all that....

but, before I go...everyone go and look up their Byron..

"She walks in beauty, like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that's best of dark and bright
Meet in her aspect and her eyes:
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.

One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress,
Or softly lightens o'er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling place.

And on that cheek, and o'er that brow,
So soft, so calm, yet eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent!"

Lord Gordon Byron..

thanks, da man...all that's missin' is her pony-tail and glasses..heh.....well...maybe just the can forget about the pony-tail this time....ahhhh....librarians.....

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I Want To Add to the List..

I posted, way back in my blogspot days, that storing your chocolate next to your bananas is a bad idea...after a while, the banana flavor will infest your choccies, and every time you eat a piece, you'll taste bananas....chocolate is not supposed to taste like fruit....anyway....I JUST finished eating a chocolate chip cookie that had been in a box with 3 other chocolate chip cookies and 1 lemon cooke....for two, that cookie tastes like a LEMON cookie...lemon cookies are nice...when they are lemon cookies...but happily munching down on a CHOCOLATE CHIP cookie and tasting lemons is just fucking, someone please tell me what the hell is up with this?...what do fruit have against chocolates?...why do bananas and lemons attack chocolate?....really..I want to know....personally, I blame the Bartender...he always tries to give me Chivas and claim it is Bowmore...the bastard...

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Has Anyone Else Noticed?

I think Bill Whittle is dead or something....

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The Long Arm of the Law..

...poor girl almost drown..which is sad....I don't want ANYONE to drown...well..except terrorists....anyway....she get's seen on TV....and then the cops come and bust is just BAAAAAAAD Karma...if your driver's license is revoked, follow the rule of law, and don't drive...if you do drive, you should be punished...not drowned...but punished....

WINFIELD, West Virginia (AP) -- A woman whose rescue from her flooded car was broadcast on CNN and The Weather Channel was later arrested when a deputy who saw the TV footage realized her driver's license had been revoked.

Putnam County Sheriff's Deputy David Bailey, saw Christy Walker, 37, on a newscast November 19. A TV crew filmed her driving past screaming firefighters, fire trucks and cones set up to block part of a roadway covered in water. Her car submerged and she was rescued by volunteer firefighters.

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Thanksgiving Blog...

I'm in a bit of a sentimental mood today, for some reason....I've been thinking about the ghosts of Thanksgiving past...for almost 1/2 my life, I have been the "host" of many a Thanksgiving Dinner....usually because I was overseas and not around any other, not being one to miss an opportunity for a party, I would try to introduce some of the locals to the Thanksgiving a result, I've cooked some pretty interesting holiday meals....everything from turkey and dressing, to steak and a matter of fact, the last time I cooked Thanksgiving Dinner, it was two years sticks in my mind....

I would always organize to cook a big dinner on the weekend following Thanksgiving....we'd invite around 10 to 15 people, and throw a big party...I'd cook a feast, and we'd drink wine around the table and tell stories, and laugh, and just enjoy each other's company....I was always the only American present at these shindigs, and I absolutely loved me, it really brought out the REAL meaning of our nation's Day of Thanks....getting together with Friends and Family, and just enjoying life and their company....

The last time I cooked, I let the Mother-in-law help out...she finally convinced me that since Thanksgiving is so near St. Andrew's Day, we should have Haggis as an appetizer.....I was dead set against it...but since I had prepared the feast for the past 7 years, I gave in to her a result, I threw my usual menu ideas out the window and decided on Steak and Lobster as the main course.....getting the Steak was no problem...we were only 35 miles south of Aberdeen, so the finest beef in the world was available at every butcher's shop....getting the Lobsters was a bit more tricky...I called up a local fisherman in Arbroath, and asked him if he had any Lobsters...he replied that he had quite a few, but they were only between 2 to 3 pounds....and getting bigger ones might be a problem.....I asked if I could come by and pick them up on Saturday morning....he said, "well, it depends on if I can get them"....he had plenty of them, but they were still in the pots...if the weather was good on Saturday, he'd row his boat out and get them...if the sea was bad, he wouldn't risk rowing out to get my all prayed for calm weather...

As it turned out, the weather was fine, and I drove to Arbroath and picked up the critters....there were 8 of them....all blue and white spotted....crawling around in a big box....I put them in my trunk and drove to the In-laws to begin the meal......during the drive over, they escaped the box and dispersed themselves all over my trunk....I spent half an hour trying to catch those varmints and get them into the house...

The meal went great...the pumpkin pie that I made didn't exactly go too well with the Haggis....but the red wine was flowing, and we CELEBRATED another Thanksgiving....where friends and family are, everyday should be Thanksgiving...

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by Eric on Nov 26, 2003 | Comments(6) | TrackBack (1) | SWG Stories
» A Single Guy In The South links with: Thanksgiving Blogging

You Get'em Girl!

DAYUM...Right Mamma is rippin' into the Democrats..heh...and she's RIGHT...the hypocrisy of idiots like Mr. Clark is exactly why I don't watch the whining left-wing media...

I do not see how Bush is exploiting September 11th. It happened, nothing can change that. And it happened on Bush's watch. It was GWB's responsibility to respond appropriatley and effectively. He did so. No, the Dems didnt neccesarily agree with all his moves, but hey - thats part of what makes the Dems!

As i see it, GWB has every right to use his Presidential History as a reason to vote for him in 2004! Its not exploiting September 11th, its showing his consistency in dealing with terrorism.

Lets face if, it Algore had won in 2000 we all know he would use 9/11 to his benefit in a re-election (but i doubt he would have the balls to run a matter of fact a little birdie told me he asked Gore personally if he was glad he lost the 2000 election, after 9/11, and Gore admitted to being glad he was not in Office when it happened. This was a casual conversation BTW, not an interview with a reporter.)

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More Robert Service

Since I got my new digs here on MT, I have been WOEFULLY lacking in Robert Service, here is one of my usual, read it out loud, me, it is better that way....and before you start to whine about hating poetry...shut the hell up....there are no flowers, butterflies, or any of that stuff in this one...hell, some of you out there might actually IDENTIFY with this one...

The Men who Don't Fit It...

There's a race of men that don't fit in,
A race that can't stay still;
So they break the hearts of kith and kin,
And they roam the world at will.
They range the field and they rove the flood,
And they climb the mountain's crest;
Theirs is the curse of the gypsy blood,
And they don't know how to rest.

If they just went straight they might go far;
They are strong and brave and true;
But they're always tired of the things that are,
And they want the strange and new.
They say: "Could I find my proper groove,
What a deep mark I would make!"
So they chop and change, and each fresh move
Is only a fresh mistake.

And each forgets, as he strips and runs
With a brilliant, fitful pace,
It's the steady, quiet, plodding ones
Who win in the lifelong race.
And each forgets that his youth has fled,
Forgets that his prime is past,
Till he stands one day, with a hope that's dead,
In the glare of the truth at last.

He has failed, he has failed; he has missed his chance;
He has just done things by half.
Life's been a jolly good joke on him,
And now is the time to laugh.
Ha, ha! He is one of the Legion Lost;
He was never meant to win;
He's a rolling stone, and it's bred in the bone;
He's a man who won't fit in.

Robert W. Service

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I Scored 118

Take the "Are you going to Hell test" was sent to me by a bloggerette who shall remain nameless to protect her delicate sensibilities...hehhe...looks like I'm started down that slippery slope....heh..some of the questions are quite..uh.....interesting...

Click HERE for the test....

Thanks "I"...HA!

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Nekkid Bloggers..

I know, I know...but, gimme a break..I only did this in 5 minutes over my lunch break....sheesh....anyway, I'll try harder tonight to come up with something...


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by Eric on Nov 25, 2003 | Comments(8) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» She Who Will Be Obeyed! links with: Change of rules

My New Toy....

My latest gift to myself.....what do you think?....Mossberg 12ga....9 shots in the tube...folding stock...heh..

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6 Die in Roadside Accident..

The gruesome scene....


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Put that thing away...

I guess he was just proud of it..or something....or maybe wanted to give the little old ladies a heart-attack...

Prosecutors in Italy have decided that a man who showed his newly pierced penis to residents of an old folks' home did not break the law

People are just crazy...

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I am number 1 on the google search for "Johnny Wilkinson circumcised"....I hate this fucking in the WORLD am I supposed to put up funny comments and shit when weirdos are only FINDING this site by searching for shit like that...

On a lighter note, the Wife is watching "Full Metal Jacket" right now...and I can hear Ermey in the living room...."You can give your HEART to JESUS...but your ASS belongs to the CORPS", I'm gonna have to call off bloggin in a while and go watch the movie...also, she is making grilled salmon and asparagus for, if I survive, I'll be bloggin again in the morning...if not, just find a link to "Tuesday's Gone" by Lynyrd Skynyrd and play a memorial to me...I always wanted that to be my funeral song....

Off to see Donnie on his chatroom...and after that, it's Full Metal Jacket and Asparagus for me....damn....g'night....

UPDATE:...Donnie's Chatroom is broken..oh's fixed...sorry...

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How in the GREATLIVINHELL does someone vote for someone on popdex?!?...shit..what, you gotta be a friggin' rocket sceintist or something?...or...maybe, sober?....gimme some pointers, oldhats....I can't figure that shit out.....

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This will be my last e-mail. I have finally had enough of users and computers

Things have been a bit tough lately and life is getting shorter and shorter every

So I am quitting my job and will no longer be e-mailing jokes to friends and
coworkers and instead will travel full time with a biker gang to see the country.

But, don't worry about me - they all seem like nice people.

A photo of the gang is enclosed. It has been nice, good bye!

The Biker Gang...


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Bloggin' Nekkid...

First off, let me just say that I have only blogged nekkid once.....very late at night....a'hem....anyway, John and Beth are going crazy over at Castle Aargghhh....they've come up with a new club for people to join....I'm SO in on this one...the Congress of Nekkid Bloggers...or something like that...actually, I don't think they've decided on a name for this organization...heh....but, I'm sure that a name, and a cool logo for you to stick on your nekkid sidebar is not far away either...right?

So, those of you who have blogged nekkid on nekkid ALL the time....or just like to read blogs by people who sometimes might possibly be nekkid whilst bloggin', then heard right over and join the club....

...I think I should start the BWI Club...Blogging While Inebriated.....hehehe....

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by Eric on Nov 24, 2003 | Comments(6) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» BoiFromTroy links with: More alliances...

Quote of the Day

"I won't forget, after we had our own dog neutered, when he went to clean himself. He looked down and didn't do anything but looked up at me with those big eyes, as if to say, 'Wait a minute! Where in the world did they go?'" -

- Gregg A. Miller, inventor of Neuticles (prosthetic testic1es for male dogs)

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The Aftermath

Well, the houseguests left about noon today...We had our spaghetti meal last night, followed by some good guitar playing and bad expected, many drinks were consumed, and everyone enjoyed themselves...however, something unexpected happened....

After playing and singing for about 4 hours, my fingers had HAD it...hell, they are still sore now...anyway, the guitars were put away, and conversation drifted onto movies...someone mentioned "The Graduate", and how much they liked it.... personally, I've never liked that movie...or Dustin Hoffman for that matter...although, I do like the fact that he dies at the end of "Midnight Cowboy"…and the fact that he saved the world from a nasty monkey virus in “Outbreak” is pretty cool....sorry, back to the point, the Wife mentions that "The Graduate" is one of her favs...the other young lady present piped up and said she'd never seen it....

Well, you guessed it...the Wife walked over to the movie collection, found it, and threw it in the VCR...I spent the next two hours suffering through that damn's amazing to see three grown people sing Simon and Garfunkel tunes so badly...anyway, after it went off, I managed to snag the remote control...and we finished off the rest of the night with the tail-end of Men In THAT is entertainment....

oh, and what the HELL is up with those two twits having stupid looks on their faces at the end of The know....when they are in the back of the bus? that supposed to be thought provoking or something?...damn, I hate that movie....

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Dinner Tonight...

Well, my friend Billy is coming over tonight, and bringing his lovely girlfriend Kathy....So, the Wife has made the salad, and I have made my world-famous Spaghetti Bolognaise....there shall be much drinking, guitar playing, drinking, and laughter....the bolognaise sauce has been cooking since 1 this is now needs time for all of the ingredients to open up and get to know each other...

..Anyway, as an aside, I taught myself my FIRST love song last week...I've been playing guitar for almost 16 years, and this will be the FIRST public singing of a love song by yours's called "If I Should Fall Behind"...and I've only ever heard Bruce Springsteen sing it.....I ain't that good....but I make up in enthusiasm what I lack in talent...anyway...gotta go and start the garlic bread....y'all have a good night....

If you want the lyrics, go right ahead...oh, and if you don't know the song, HERE IT IS....

We said we'd walk together baby come what may
That come the twilight should we lose our way
If as we're walkin a hand should slip free
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me

We swore we'd travel darlin' side by side
We'd help each other stay in stride
But each lover's steps fall so differently
But I'll wait for you
And if I should fall behind
Wait for me

Now everyone dreams of a love lasting and true
But you and I know what this world can do
So let's make our steps clear that the other may see
And I'll wait for you
If I should fall behind
Wait for me

Now there's a beautiful river in the valley ahead
There 'neath the oak's bough soon we will be wed
Should we lose each other in the shadow of the evening trees
I'll wait for you
And should I fall behind
Wait for me
Darlin' I'll wait for you
Should I fall behind
Wait for me

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Feelin' Bad Music....

I just found an old tape I made back in was in with a bunch of my old stuff from Alaska...only one side of the tape has anything on it...and it is labeled "Eric's Feelin' Really REALLY Bad Music"...heh...I had forgotten about ever making that tape....anyway, I threw it on the old stereo, and I'm listening to it right now...this tape is AWESOME!...

Here is what's on it...and, if you have any of these songs in your music collections...go and dig them out, brush off the dust, and LISTEN to them...

I'm Sorry - Joe Cocker
Guilty - Bonnie Raitt
Angel From Montgomery - Bonnie Riatt and John Prine
It You Were a Woman - The Cowboy Junkies
Winter Song - The Cowboy Junkies
Vincent - Don McLean
Louise - Bonnie Riatt
Always in My Heart - Bob Seger
Runnin' On Faith - Eric Clapton
Hard Times - Eric Clapton
Down and Out - Don McLean
To Live is to Fly - The Cowboy Junkies

hmmm....I guess I cheered up before finishing side two...anyway, it is some pretty good music...heh...

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Fred and Ginger...

My wife has two cats...Fred and Ginger....She named them after Fred Astair and Ginger Rogers..... Originally, Fred was named Frederick Wildcat...after the wine importer Frederick Wildman & Sons of NY....the Wife likes the Parallel 45...anyway, I digress.....

We got Fred first, and after a while, the Wife started in on me with the old.."Aww...doesn’t Fred look lonely? Maybe we need to get him a friend.."....yeah, well, eventually I, she went and picked out a "girl" kitten and named her Ginger....We had Fred castrated a few months ago, and Ginger was slated to get fixed last week...

So, the Wife comes back from the vet with bad news...Ginger didn't need to be fixed....He needed to be castrated....yep...."Ginger" was a "boy" cat...So, for almost a year, the Wife has been calling to Ginger in this effeminate voice...totally different than the voice she uses to call in Fred...and being more gentle to him/her...just, generally, treating Ginger like a girl...and Fred like a boy...I asked her if she was going to change Ginger's name to Butch or something to make up for calling him Ginger for so long, but she said she'd rather keep calling him Ginger...poor cat....

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Another Quiz..

*looks at the current world's population* You must have a lot of frustration then.

What pisses you off?

Created by ptocheia

Thanks to Big Stupid Tommy for the link...

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by Eric on Nov 22, 2003 | Comments(3) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» BoiFromTroy links with: Rocky Top Sampler

Another from the E-mail

Subject: DEAR ABBY

Dear Abby, My husband is a liar and a cheat. He has cheated on me from the beginning. When I confront him, he denies everything. What's worse is everyone knows he cheats on me. It is so humiliating! Also, since he lost his job two years ago he hasn't even looked for a new one. All he does is sit around the living room in his underwear and watch TV while I work to pay the bills. And since our daughter went away to college he doesn't even pretend to like me. He keeps calling me a lesbian. What should I do?

Signed Clueless

Dear Clueless: Dump him. You're a New York Senator now. You don't need him anymore

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Fun Stuff for Friday..

Jack at Bog's Blog has a great post about "Top 10 dumb guy insights into the Michael Jackson Affair".... definitely worth a read...might help you to understand the mind of the average guy a little better...heh...

Matt at Blackfive has a VERY educated post on why the rest of the world hates us...

Dax Montana tells us of his days as a Anti-establishment Man....good points brought up in this the same is pretty damn hard to buck the system and get away with it....

Don has caught something REALLY nasty...a NGD..yep...a Nice Guy Disease...get better soon, Don...

LeeAnn has the BEST answer to number 5 of the "Friday 5" I have seen yet in the blogosphere....If I'd done a Friday 5, that would have been my answer too...

Geoffrey demonstrates that "Smoking Pot Makes You Stupid"...and tells us how he watched a Hippie get thumped by a cop...heh...

Parkway Rest Stop has a GREAT off-the-cuff poem....

Say Anything has a cool post about how Democrats are Traitors....

She Who Will Be Obeyed has a great post on President Bush's manners while eating...oh, and she's evidently bloggin' NEKKID too....hehehe...

Shots Across The Bow has a wonderful mathematical problem for those anti-war people out there to figure on for a while....

Adam tells us that Key has a fresh, new blog...very nice....

Velociman has a groovy photo of Betty Page strapped to an overturned comfy chair....ahhhh....being spanked by a buxom blonde...hey, I can't help it..I'm a porn conniseur..heh...and Betty is a classic...

Wild Scorpy gets a cool comment about her lovely gamms......

sorry if I left anyone out...gotta go and eat dinner back later...I hope y'all enjoy these reads as much as I did...

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by Eric on Nov 21, 2003 | Comments(6) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with: My Friday Five.

Poor Doggie...

Heh...If this is true, then it is pretty a weird sorta way...anyone able to debunk it?

An elderly lady with a dog, called Verizon phone company to say that her telephone failed to ring when her friends called; and that on the few occasions when it did ring her dog always barked before the phone rang.

The telephone repairman proceeded to the scene, curious to see this psychic dog or senile elderly lady. He climbed a nearby telephone pole, hooked in his test set, and dialed the subscriber's house.The phone didn't ring but the dog barked loudly and then the telephone did ring.

Climbing down from the pole, the telephone repairman found:

1. The dog was tied to the telephone system's ground post via an iron chain and collar.

2. The dog was receiving 90 volts of signaling current when the phone number was called.

3. After several such jolts, the dog would start barking and urinate on the ground.

4. The wet ground would complete the circuit and the phone would ring.

...Which shows you that some problems can be fixed by just pissing on them.


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Bad DAY....

Now THIS is a bad day at the office.....

oh, and that link is not PETA friendly...

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Fresh from the E-mail

What with all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person which almost went unnoticed last week.

Larry La Prise, the man who wrote "The Hokey Pokey" died peacefully at age 93.

The most traumatic part for his family was getting him in the coffin.

They put his left leg in, and then the trouble started.

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Britney's Sex Life... comment....Britney likes to diddle herself....heheh.....yip...she does....


"And then you're able to give more to other people. When you turn yourself on, that really is what turns the guy on."


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I've heard the blogosphere called a "community"....hell, I've even heard it called an "alternate world"....but today, for the sake of this post, it is "my home town"....I read THIS post over at Everyday Stranger's house today while I was at work....and on the drive home tonight, I was groovin' to some old Bruce Springsteen of my favs came on...and as I was screaming out the lyrics along with Bruce on that backroad here in Tennessee....I thought of Helen..

Helen has been through the wars...and is still battling through a few more battles...but, she is a true warrior...she may not want to admit it, but she is....hell, some of the best leaders I've ever met have had moments of self doubt....but, she has learned the first thing about have to lead yourself before you can lead anyone else...of all the funny, articulate, informed, educated, and sexy blogs that I read, her's is the one that I feel most comfortable with....she blogs about sex, her life, her fears...and she lays her most secret and sacred bits right out there in the open for everyone to see..she is, quite literally, a survivor in the truest sense of the short, in the blogosphere....she's my "local hero" the lyrics...WE are in need of a "local hero"...

I was driving through my hometown
I was just kinda killin' time
When I seen a face staring out of a black velvet painting
From the window of the five and dime
I couldn't quite recall the name
But the pose looked familiar to me
So I asked the salesgirl Who was that man
Between the doberman and Bruce Lee?
She said Just a local hero
Local hero she said with a smile
Yeah a local hero he used to live here for a while

I met a stranger dressed in black
At the train station
He said Son your soul can be saved
There's a beautiful women nights of low livin'
And some dangerous money to be made
There's a big town 'cross the whiskey line
And if we turn the right card up
They make us boss the devil pays off
And them folks that are real hard up
They get their local hero
Somebody with the right style
They get their local hero
Somebody with just the right smile

Well I learned my job I learned it well
Fit myself with religion and a story to tell
First they made me the king then they made me pope
Then they brought the rope

I woke to a gypsy girl sayin' Drink this
Well my hands had lost all sensation
These days I'm feeling all right
Cept I can't tell my courage from my desperation
From the tainted chalice
Well I drunk some heady wine
Tonight I'm layin' here
But there's something in my ear
Sayin' there's a little town just beneath the floodline
Needs a local hero
Somebody with the right style
Lookin' for a local hero
Someone with the right smile
Local hero local hero she said with a smile
Local hero he used to live here for a while

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Awaiting SURRENDER??

This really ticks me off....first off, the headline says..."Authorities await Jackson's surrender"...WTF??...AWAIT?? Why aren't the cops going to GET his sorry ass?..ooohhh no...INSTEAD, we get THIS..

"Jackson is expected to meet his attorney, Mark Geragos, at the Santa Barbara County sheriff's office and turn himself in to authorities late Thursday morning"

As far as I can tell, if you have a damn ARREST WARRANT issued for you, the cops COME AND GET YOU....this fucking doublestandard justice system is a got money? perp'd a crime?...ahh....just bounce on down to the police station when you get a free minute away from fondling little boys...

...makes me want to puke....

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My wife is currently reading a Heinlein novel....and she showed me this quote today...I'd heard it before, but it was nice to hear it again....I think I agree with it...

"A human being should be able to change a diaper, plan an invasion, butcher a hog, design a building, conn a ship, write a sonnet, balance accounts, build a wall, set a bone, comfort the dying, take orders, give orders, cooperate, act alone, solve an equation, analyze a new problem, pitch manure, program a computer, cook a tasty meal, fight efficiently, die gallantly. Specialization is for insects."

Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

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Pool Tournament

Bloggin' may be a little slow tonight...I've just been informed by the guys that I am hosting a Pool Tournament/Bragging Rights Contest at my house, I've gotta run and get the grill fired up, and get the shot glasses out...I'll try to post the results later tonight if I can see to type....

wish me luck, the sharks are circling....

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A Classic Post

I just read THIS is incredible....if you haven't read it already, then get over there and spend some time....

"Every time we encounter evil it’s all or nothing for us. Every game is a playoff game and an absolute must win situation. The mind cannot even begin to contemplate what the world would be like had we lost the previous big games to Hitler or Stalin. This one is no different. What will happen to our beautiful country and the fate of the world should we fail? It’s ugly, but dwell on that thought for a few moments and you’ll realize the severity of the situation.

It is granted that the United States will never be conquered by groups such as Islamic Jihad, Hezbollah, or al-Qeada, but it is entirely possible that through their actions and our inaction that we become a former shell of ourselves with our children left to inherit a country that cowers in fear to the whims of terrorists and terrorist countries. We will become slaves to evil and will were its shackles on our wrists and legs.

Many bloggers, me included, have said it many a time: WE ARE AT WAR. There seems to be confusion over this since it’s not the way we typical think of war, the same was true for the Cold War. But it is a war. It is an armed conflict. And it is good versus evil. "

Right on, brother...right on...

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Payphone Attacks Janitor

Ouch!...I should never laugh at other people's misfortunes....BUT...this story is still pretty funny....and, it just goes to prove my point that people are crazy...I mean...this guy got his butt kicked by a PAYPHONE....heh..

The phone was near a busy bus stop.

"People on the bus who know me were laughing at me," Fleming said.

With few options left, ambulance crew members cut the telephone off at the base and took it and Fleming to St. Mary's Hospital.

"I've been in this business more than 30 years and I've seen a lot of weird things, but never anyone trapped in a telephone," said Herb Simmons, manager of the ambulance company.

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I Always Wanted To Say This...

Will over at Fedup Citizen has posted on a military issue that is close to me...I LOVE Nicholson's rant at the end of A Few Good Will says, I know of no one who would condone what happened in the movie, discipline is maintained without beating or abusing troops...but, it IS discipline.....but the spirit in which Jack spouts those words "You can't handle the truth!"....damn....I liked the Nicholson character a LOT better than Cruise's lawyer...

"You don't want the truth. Because deep down, in places you don't talk about at parties, you want me on that wall. You need me on that wall.
"We use words like honor, code, loyalty...we use these words as the backbone to a life spent defending something. You use 'em as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I provide, then questions the manner in which I provide it. I'd prefer you just said thank you and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon and stand a post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think you're entitled to."

go read his site, and then talk amongst yourselves...anyway, it is on blogspot, so you'll have to scroll down to the entry called "I relate to the warrior mentality"

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I Love This Bar...

Dana over at Note It Posts, the purtiest blogger around, has linked both the COTBB AND the COTBG in a linkfest like no other....oh, and that is "Babes" and "Gang" for those of you uninitiated drinkers out there...the Corner of The Bar, baby....the best place around to get your cyber shots and slammers...and check out a few "long, cool drinks of water"...drop by...and check out the Champaign Room.....heh...tell Willie I sent ya...

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The "Ghost" of Joey

I guess you gotta be a pretty big man to beat, punch, kick, and throw around a 50 pound little boy, right?...THIS scumbag turns my stomach....and any Mother who'll let shit like that happen to her kid? WTF....The jist of this article seems to ask if the prosecutor was asking for undue "sympathy" from the jury by speaking to the court as if she was "the ghost of Joey"....sympathy?..from the COURT?...that piece of shit deserves no sympathy...He deserves to be beaten within an inch of HIS life every day for a few months, and then, after HE learns the true meaning of fear, electrocute his ass..

"Hi, I'm Joey. I'm 8, and I'm scared," Assistant State Attorney Nita Denton said as she impersonated the child during closing arguments of Dial's child-abuse murder trial.


Over defense objections that the prosecutor was improperly eliciting sympathy from jurors, Circuit Judge Robert Makemson allowed Denton to continue her arguments "through the eyes and ears" of the boy, who was found dead in bed June 26, 2000.

You can read the whole story right the way, notice that the kid was BEATEN to DEATH in 2000...and justice is JUST NOW starting to be handed out...

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Norks "Allowing" Five More Searches

N. Korea Troop Searches Agreed On
Associated Press
November 18, 2003

WASHINGTON - The United States and North Korea agreed on five new search missions for the remains of American troops killed half a century ago during the Korean War.

The agreement calls for the joint search missions to begin early next year in Unsan County and near the Chosin Reservoir north of the capital, Pyongyang, the Pentagon said Monday. The two sides agreed on the searches during talks Friday and Saturday in Bangkok, Thailand, the Pentagon statement said.

Go HERE for the rest...dammit, we should be DEMANDING they be found and returned...

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Good GAWD...

How in the WORLD is a Straight White Guy to live, when he check's his referrals and finds that he is number 4 on the list of Google searches for "johnny wilkinson buttocks"....GOOD GOD! people are more Rugby...and leave me OUT of this .....

...lawd...hear my prayer..let it be a buxom young brunette with glasses between the ages of 18 and 29 who searched google for wilkinson buttocks....please???

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Blogging for the LOVE of it..

I've had the pleasure of meeting some of my fellow bloggers in person...I loved meeting them all after reading so much of their blogs...after a while, you feel that you know a lot about them...when really, how someone writes can often give you a false sense of what they might or might not be like...I was really shocked when I first met the bloggers...they were all incredible people, and not NEARLY as vitriolic in person as they often are on their sites...sure, we all ranted, but it didn't have the same kind of venom that it does on the site...our words - when we type them - lack a certain sense of presence...and can often be taken out of context...

I was just over at the Acidman's abode, and read THIS POST....It was talking about traffic, and links, and the usual stuff...and I suddenly had a flashback from the Jawjah Blogmeet....

I had just walked into the bar, noticed the group of crazies in the corner...walked over...and Acidman stood up, leaned over the table and said..." we have a fellow blogger here?!!" an idiot, said..."Hey Acidman, I'm the Straight White Guy"...HA!...well, you just had to be, he says..."ERIC! Glad you could make it! Let me buy you a beer!"...well, within 30 seconds, I had a pint of Sam Adams sitting in front of me...I was pretty nervous about meeting everyone, but no sooner had I taken my first sip of beer when he dropped the bomb...

"So, Eric, tell us all how you got started blogging..."....DAMN...I was on the spot...anyway, I told my story...and then, slowly, everyone else began relating THEIR reasons for starting blogs...and not a single person around that table said it was for "Links", "Traffic", or whatever...most of us just want to write...good, bad, or indifferent...we just want to write....hell, we'd write if NOBODY read us...writing is therapeutic...writing is good....

I like to tell jokes and rant....which, is pretty much what I do in real blog is sometimes political...sometimes funny....and sometimes I tell a story....I don't really do it for anyone except myself....As I have said before, I look at my hits and referrals a lot, but I do it because I want to see if there are other funny, some-times-political-storytellers out there....not to boost my ego...I guess that's why I ended up with the title of my blog as "Straight White Guy"..

I had been reading blogs for a while...Eject Eject Eject....Gut Rumbles....Nicedoggie....IMAO....The Dax Files...Velociman....and Baldilocks...and, after asking Dax for advice on starting a blog, I found blogspot....I pressed a few buttons, and suddenly, it asked me for the name of my blog....I had no, I sat here looking at the screen for all of 15 seconds...What clever name could I use?...What would be eye-catching??...nope, no, I just took a sip of Scotch and thought..."Straight White Guy"....and that was it..I was suddenly NOW am I realizing that we bloggers brand ourselves - As Adam has told me - with our name and content..

I guess what I'm trying to say is this...blogging isn't a popularity contest to me, or any of the bloggers that I met in Jawjuh....We do it because we enjoy it...Hell, if I stopped blogging today - after only barely two months of doing it - it has ALREADY been worth the effort...I have met friends that I never EVER would have met if it hadn't been for throwing some words up onto this damn screen...hehehe...not that I'm thinking of quitting blogging, but the people that I met at the blogmeet were genuine great human beings...and I'm all the better for knowing,...hit-counters...popdex....referral pages, and links...are NOT the product of good bloggin'...the product of good bloggin' is meeting good guys know who you are...right?

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by Eric on Nov 17, 2003 | Comments(10) | TrackBack (2) | Psycho Rants
» Gut Rumbles links with: yes... and no
» Anger Management links with: MORNING ROUND UP

Joke of the Day

Top 25 Strange Children's Books *Not* recommended by the National Library Assoc.

25. The Little Engine that Could Becomes intoxicated and Kills Civilians.

24. Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer's Games of Revenge..

23. Peter Rabbit's Frisky Adventures.

22. Dick, Jane, and Spot Wander into The 'Hood'.

21. Clifford the Big Red Dog Accidentally Eats his Masters and is Put to Sleep.

20. Valuable Protein and Other Nutritional Benefits of Things from your Nose.

19. The Hardy Boys, the Barbie Twins, and the Vice Squad.

18. The Tickling Babysitter

17. A Pictorial History of Circus Geek Suicides.

16. Charles Manson Bedtime Stories.

15. Daddy Loses His Job and Finds the Bottle.

14. Babar Meets the Taxidermist and Becomes a Piano.

13. Controlling the playground: Respect through Fear.

12. David Duke's World of Imagination.

11. Curious George and the High-Voltage Fence.

10. The Boy Who Died from Eating All His Vegetables.

9. Legends of Scab Football.

8. Teddy: the Elf with the Detached Retina.

7. Tommy Tune: Boy Choreographer.

6. Joe Garagiola Retells Favorite Fairy Tales But Can't Remember the Endings to All of them.

5. Ed Beckley's Start a Real-Estate Empire with the change from your Mom's Purse.

4. The Pop-up Book of Human Anatomy.

3. Things Rich Kids Have, but you never will.

2. Let's Draw Betty and Veronica without their clothes on.

1. The Care Bears Maul Some Campers and are Shot Dead.

Courtesy of Strange Cosmos...

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Pool Table Round-up

Well, I know that it has been a while since I posted the usual Sunday pool-shoot results...but, that is because we haven't shot on the table during the past three weeks....however, today we did....the results are as follows:

1.5 hours of play..
Steve: 5 Miller Geniune Drafts
Me: Two Large Scotch and Waters...

Steve: 8-ball, 7 Games won
Me: 8-ball, 3 Games won..

So, another buttkicking was had in my OWN garage...but, I think I'm getting better...but, is a GREAT way to spend a rainy Sunday afternoon....heh...

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Kinky Germans...

heh....I was just minding my own business, checking my you do....and I noticed that I am number 1 on the german google search for "Billy Joe Hawks" know who I'm talking about....that Kentuckian who looks like Meatloaf on a bad day who got locked up in a wimmin's prison?, Germans are a pretty kinky bunch...

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A few questions leap to my mind after reading THIS...

1. Why did you wait till your son was ELEVEN to get him circumcised?

2. And, in response to this quote..."It said the boy's penis was deformed years ago when he fell into a well"...WTF?!?!?

3. How in the WORLD could you let a DRUNK man with a SCALPEL near your kid's privates...

People are just crazy...

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REAL Sportsmanship..

Colleges are continuing to come up with more and more ways of getting funding...I find it pretty shocking to see the budgets that some of the larger universities have for their athletic departments....I mean, you could run a small South American country with the amount of money that UT spends on Football alone....but THIS is a novel idea to raise money...and I LIKE it....

In the $3 billion college-logo retail market, there's growing demand for "rivalry merchandise" in which two schools allow their trademarks to appear on the same item, even if one team is being throttled, humiliated or labeled as a loser. The schools share revenue and say the products highlight the traditions of their rivalries. But getting merchandise to market can be a convoluted process as universities struggle to reconcile the lure of commerce with the boundaries of taste.

heh...and this too....

"It's not acceptable to go up to your rival and say, 'Go to hell!' So you do it with a clever shirt," says Trevor Livesay, a 32-year-old Montana State graduate. Mr. Livesay's favorite is the unlicensed shirt he bought from Rival Rags, Spokane, Wash. It pokes fun at the University of Montana's Grizzly mascot while alluding to something bears do in the woods."

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My Life As it Stands...

This post is not going to make any sense...I have gotten a few emails lately which have been absolutely know who you are...anyway...there are a certain few bits of minutiae that I want to handle first...

Scotland was just throroughly thrashed by Australia...the Aussies are a big bunch of cheating bastards...

Wales was beaten soundly by England, and, England are a bunch of cheating pansies too..

Of course, this leaves four teams in the semi-finals...NZ, OZ, England, and the Froggies....goooooooooooooood lord....I'd sooner sell my left nut than root for ANY of those teams...I HATE the "All Blacks" because they ARE the best.....the English can kiss my ass, because they are the most ARROGANT group of Rugby players that have EVER set foot on a pitch....the "Froggies" can just lay down and die right NOW, hell...everybody KNOWS their record...and the "Wallabies" are FUCKED as long as I live...but, I suppose I must choose one much as it BURNS my soul.....and....I can assure you that I will NEVER live this down....I am now forced to side with......the English least Little Johnny Wilkinson has never pissed me off....yet....

Sorry for digressing....anyway, best of luck to you......and keep on WILL meet all your goals..good luck,...and God Speed..

UPDATE:...just read this in the light of day...note to self: blogging while intoxicated after watching a whole day of Rugby is probably not a good idea...heh.

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Real Heroes...

Go HERE immediately....

Mr. Centerfold Retoucher....he's DA MAN!...

Thanks to the Oceanguy for showing me where the REAL heroes are..

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My "Best War Movies" List..

I've never done one of these lists, I guess it is about are my Favorites...

1. Battleground...seeing Ricardo Montalban tear that German's jugular vein out with his teeth is truly awe inspiring..

2. Hell in the Pacific...starring Lee Marvin and Toshiro Mifune...and no one else..Classic...

3. Full Metal Jacket....the most realistic Boot Camp scene I've ever seen...and lessons in using foul language that are simply indispensable...

4. The Sands of Iwo Jima...I've got a Belgian movie poster of this hanging in my office at work...John Wayne at his best...

5. Gettysburg....makes me wish that Joshua Chamberlain was on OUR side...simply the best historical run-down of the battle that I can think of...

6. The Big Red One...the original "old war horse" movie...creating a character that spans BOTH World Wars...

7. Patton...Best theme song EVER in a war movie..."Patton's March" is sure to instill even the meekest with a strong urge to kick some ass..

8. To Hell and of my distant relatives - Audie Murphy - was just a plain and simple HERO...

9. Sergeant York.....once a conscientious objector, but made to see the light by his religion, and became the most decorated soldier of WWI...and, also a fellow Tennessean...

10. Tora Tora single WWII quote I can think of..."I fear we have awakened a Sleeping Giant".....ooohhh yeah, baby.....

11. Blackhawk Down...a REAL story....Rangers making the best of a BAD situation...

12. The Longest Day....A celebfest with practically EVERYbody who was ANYbody in Hollywood in it...and a pretty good take on the D-day invasion of Normandy..

13. Saving Private Ryan....The scene were Tom Hanks won't let them shoot the POW is a MUST see...and somehow relavant to today's news...

14. The Battle of the Bulge.....Fonda does a pretty good job...and my Grandpa was actually captured by the Germans during the actual battle...

15. The Best Years of our Lives.....I LOVE this movie....

I might think of some more later....ha! was pretty fun....and, yes, I have copies of ALL of these movies in my collection....

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Visiting Places....

I've been getting e-mails from a friend of mine who is currently taking a six-month vacation...He is spending most of his time around the Pacific Rim..He plans on hitting New Zealand, Singapore, Australia, and Malaysia..currently, he is Vietnam...I received one yesterday describing his visit to Hue...

It will suffice to say that I AM JEALOUS...I've been to a few Asian countries - most recently, Bangladesh, and I've enjoyed ALL of my travels...I love to go places that I've never been sorta re-affirms my belief in humanity...but, I'm not JUST jealous because he's traveling, I'm jealous because he is in HUE! My Dad spent some time there...but, the natives weren't too friendly....he was wounded by a mortar round there in '68 while attached to the 1/5...but, I'd LOVE to visit that city...once known as the "Paris of the Orient"...

I was just over at Kelly's place, and she mentioned that she'd never like to visit the Sudan..Well, I've never been there...which makes me WANT to go!...Hell, sometimes when I've had a bit too much Scotch, I throw Sahara in the VCR, and imagine myself there with Bogie...I LOVE desert movies..especially WWII desert movies...of course, The Big Red One is a drunken fav of mine too...

Speaking of movies....and Hue...and Vietnam....I just found THIS over at Matt's place...WHOO HOOO..DAMN! I love THAT's got a little cussin', Ermey reminds me of MY D.I...Sgt. Day of Plt 3072...

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Redheaded Stranger

I love being a redhead....hell, it is all I've EVER been so there is no sense in bitching about it now...but, I've got something to say..

Where I work, all of the Admin and Management staff eat lunch together EVERY DAY in the conference, most of admin staff are lovely young ladies....of course, the OWNER of the COMPANY is a lovely young lady herself....anyway, I digress...the other day, I was having my BBQ Pork sandwich in the conference room when I said something that I haven't been able to live down since...

I was sitting there, minding my own business, when I overheard one of the "girls" say, "OOOOHHH, he was SOOOO dreamy!! He was tall, dark, had these DREAMY eyes, and he was SOOOO handsome.."...

Well, folks, that was it for me...and I had HAD, let me describe some of the guys that I work with...most of them are at LEAST 5'11", and have darkish hair, dark or blue eyes, and are in quite good shape....

Anyway, I looked up from my sandwich, and I said..."THAT is what I don't get about you wimmen....what the hell is up with "Tall, Dark, and Handsome"?!?!...When was the last time you heard someone say..."OH. MY. GAWD!! I just met the most WONDERFULLY handsome guy!! He is 6'1", REDHEADED, PALE SKIN, and covered from head to toe in FRECKLES!!!"..

Yeah, you got is a word of advice to the "ladies"....the NEXT time that you say "Tall, Dark, and Handsome"....just realize that there are MILLIONS of us Redheads who are mentally smacking the piss out of you each time you say that....

so..there....enough I mind being a redhead?..nope...that's what I am...hell, I ENJOY being different...I just wish that being a Redhead was cool...oh, and to all you "Tall, Dark, and Handsome" guys...kiss my Redheaded Ass..

Ask a THOUSAND ladies to describe their "PERFECT" man, and I will give you 10 to 20 that NONE of them describes a Redhead.


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I'm Gonna Catch HELL for this one...

I took another damn quiz...

cuddle and a kiss
cuddle and a kiss on the forehead - you like to be
close to your special someone and feel warm,
comfortable, and needed

What Sign of Affection Are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

And Bartender, you can just shut the hell up RIGHT NOW....

Hat tip to Classical Values for this alsdjfas;dkjfasdfk quiz...DAMMIT!!!

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by Eric on Nov 14, 2003 | Comments(5) | TrackBack (1) | Jokes
» suburban blight links with: And more -

Dean to Accept Foodstamps...

All kneel before the almighty Scrappleface....this one is just GREAT...

Clark to Accept Public Financing, Food Stamps
(2003-11-14) -- Wesley Clark announced today that during the presidential primaries his campaign would accept public financing, food stamps and government-issued cheese.

"Our fundraising is going so well we don't need taxpayer help," said Mr. Clark. "We're only accepting this public assistance to demonstrate that Wes Clark is a true, blue Democrat. It's woven into the fiber of our party that taxpayers should have to pay for the personal choices others make."

Mr. Clark immediately criticized rival Howard Dean for his decision to refuse public financing.

"One could reasonably wonder whether Mr. Dean is even a Democrat," said Mr. Clark as he nibbled a cube of government cheese. "There's a mean streak of unilateralism in Howard."

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About Last Night....

I had the distinct honor of giving a "Southern Baptism" to two of my workmates last of them is from the Dominican Republic, and the other is a Canadian, and neither of them had ever sampled any REAL Tennessee Moonshine...heh...well, they got their chance last night...They enjoyed it....I actually think that they enjoyed the Shine more than they did the guitar playing and singing....heh....although, AFTER having a few shots of that homemade booze, perhaps they could stand my playing a little more.

Anyway, here was last night's playlist...

Hotel California
Down and Out
Blue Eyes Cryin' in the Rain
Here's a Quarter (Call Someone Who Cares)
Fire and Rain
Ain't No Sunshine (When She's Gone)
Heart and Soul
Mary Had a Little Lamb (SRV Version)
Tequila Sunrise
Rocky Top
Who'll Stop the Rain
Thrasher (by Neil Young)
and about 40 different Blues songs....

Hey, who needs a REASON for a party....we just decided to get together and play, sing, drink, and eat pizza....of course, we were all hurting a little this morning...but who cares? Life is too short NOT to have fun every chance you get....

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LONDON (Reuters) - A burp from the loudest belcher in the world echoed round Britain's Tate Modern Gallery as the Guinness World Records book celebrated the release of its 100 millionth copy.

If you ask me, the Tate Gallery is really going down hill....

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The Death of a Legend

Farewell, Penthouse Magazine...ahhhh was bound to happen, I suppose....

Goldstein said circulation woes throughout the field show "we are an anachronism; we are dinosaurs; we are elephants going to the bone cemetery to die.... The delivery system has changed, and we have to change with it if we want to survive."

Founded in 1968, Screw was successful in its early years. Its mix of scatological editorials, pornographic pictures and tongue-and-cheek articles sold as many as 140,000 copies a week. By last year, sales had dipped to around 30,000.

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by Eric on Nov 14, 2003 | Comments(5) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Velociworld links with: PORNODIGM SHIFT

Party At My House...

Sorry for the lack of blogging, but I was given a surprise party at my house reason in particular, just because..anyway, there was much booze drinking, much guitar playing, and now, I just need to go to bed...DAMN..I'll blog like bejus in the morning...I promise....HA!! fingers are sore from playing guitar, my eyes are blurry from drinking moonshine, and my head is spinning from trying to read this post as I type it...sorry folks, this week has gotten the best of me...heh...maybe Friday will be less alcoholic..then IS Friday, after all..;^)

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Conservative Bumper Stickers...

I just found this over at Strange Cosmos....and I thought I'd share...heh..

VOTE DEMOCRAT or we will pull your file

Ignore the Media...Think for yourself.



"Annoy a liberal, Work Hard and Smile."

If Clinton's against it, it MUST be good.

It takes a village to raise an idiot.

Poor Bill...Stuck with Hillary!
Poor Hillary...Stuck with Bill!
Poor US...Stuck with both of em!

"Earth First! We'll log the other planets later."

Gotta Over Regulate Everything

After finishing taxes, I owed the IRS $1.46.
I'm sure at least $500 was spent to file my check.

Ever notice how all the "CELEBRATE DIVERSITY" bumper stickers look the same?


"I'm not politcally correct I AM RIGHT"


Asking government to fight greed is like asking Adolph Hitler to fight racism.


"Clinton for President--Anything to get him the hell out of Arkansas!"

"Stop global whining."


If guns cause crime, then matches cause arson.

"A Liberal knows as much about Economics as Hitler did about Human Rights."

Spotted Owls taste like chicken.

Be a hero, save a whale. Save a baby, go to jail.

Money's not everything, But it will keep the DNC in touch

Nancy picked the silverware. Barbra picked the China. Hillary picked the Cabinet.

VOTE DEMOCRATIC: It's easier than getting a Job!

If We're Not Supposed to Eat Animals, Why Are They Made Out of Meat?

I am Clinton of Borg: Your wealth will be assimilated!


"Gun Control Is Being Able To Hit Your Target"

"Only an (picture of democrat donkey) would vote Democratic."

CLINTON'S Motel 1600
Call 1-800-DNC-DONR

Don't blame me! - I voted republican!

Friends don't let friends vote democrat.

"Save a Tree: Eat a Beaver."



"If we're RIGHT, what are you?"


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by Eric on Nov 13, 2003 | Comments(5) | TrackBack (1) | Jokes
» The Cheese Stands Alone links with: Stickier The Better


Acidman's got up a post of his wacko relatives...I guess that neither Donnie NOR I are the Red-headed Stepchildren after all...heh!

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Madfish Willie..

The Bartender over at Madfish Willie's Cyber a complete and utter dickweed...As a member of the "Corner of the Bar Gang", I have to tell ya...Madfish Willie's is a great place to go to kick back, have a few pints, talk a little politics with Lord Spatual, re-tell some old war stories with Blackfive, listen to Harvey tell some great jokes, watching The Emperor thrash some hippie, seeing FrankJ nervously look around the bar looking for Ninja Monkeys, and just generally give The Bartender living hell for serving watered down Scotch and warm beer...

As Jimmy Buffet once said..."warm beer and bread they said could raise the dead, but it reminds me of the menu at Madfish Willies"...or something like that...

Anyway, I have been informed by The Bartender that I have, in the words of Kim DuToit, been, just to prove that it is NOT true, go over and read THIS story...hell, if I'm man enough to take on Blackfive AND Finn The Viking, then calling me a pussy is the LAST thing you want to do...especially if I've been drinking...

So, Bartender, get me a Scotch and water...with MORE Scotch than water in it this time, you cheap bastard, and put it on YOUR tab....oh, and I ain't turnin' on my HTML thinggy in the comments section sneaky dickweed, I KNOW you'd spam'em all to hell...besides, I couldn't figure out how to do it WHERE'S MY DRINK??

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A Royal Family Joke

I'm sure that by now everyone has heard of about the troubles ole Prince Charles is having in the British tabloids....the fact that the Prince might be a little bent in that direction is of no surprise to me...I mean, c'mon....anyway, in the spirit of taking the piss out of the Royal Family, let me serve you up a fresh and steaming e-mail joke I just received...heh...

On the evening of the Royal wedding, Sophie was becoming somewhat uncomfortable in her regal attire: Unfortunately, the shoes she had worn that day were a bit too small and, by the time the festivities were over, Sophie's feet were in agony.

When Sophie and Edward withdrew to their bridal suite, the only thing she could think of was getting her ill-fitting shoes off.

The rest of the Royal Family crowded round the door to the bedroom and they heard roughly what they expected, grunts, straining noises and the occasional muffled scream.

Eventually they heard Edward say, "God, that was tight."

"There," whispered the Queen. "I told you Sophie was a virgin."

Then, to their surprise, they heard Edward say, "Right. Now for the other one."

This was followed by even more grunting and straining and at last Edward exclaimed, "My God! That was even tighter!"

"That's my boy," said the Duke. "Once a sailor, always a sailor!"

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by Eric on Nov 12, 2003 | Comments(3) | TrackBack (1) | Jokes
» Ain't Done It! links with: Marine humor

Bad Joke of the Day

A Programmer and an Engineer are sitting next to each other on a long flight
from LA to Paris. The Programmer leans over to the Engineer and asks if he would like to play a fun game.

The Engineer just wants to take a nap, so he politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few winks. The Programmer persists and explains that the game is real easy and a lotta fun. He explains "I ask you a question, and if you don't know the answer, you pay me $5. Then you ask me a question, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $5."

Again, the Engineer politely declines and tries to get to sleep. The Programmer, now somewhat exasperated, says, "OK, if you don't know the answer you pay me $5, and if I don't know the answer, I'll pay you $50!"

This catches the Engineer's attention, and he sees no end to this torment unless he plays, so he agrees to the game. The Programmer asks the first question. "What's the distance from the earth to the moon?"

The Engineer doesn't say a word, but reaches into his wallet, pulls out a five dollar bill and hands it to the Programmer. Now, it's the Engineer's turn. He asks the Programmer "What goes up a hill with three legs, and comes down on four?"
The Programmer looks over at him with a puzzled look. He takes out his laptop computer and searches all of his references. He taps into the Airphone with his modem and searches the net and the Library of Congress. Frustrated, he sends e-mail to his co-workers -- all to no avail. After about an hour, he wakes the Engineer and hands him $50.

The Engineer politely takes the $50 and turns away to try to get back to sleep.
The Programmer, more than a little miffed, shakes the Engineer and asks "Well, so what's the answer?"

Without a word, the Engineer reaches into his wallet, hands the Programmer $5, and turns away to get back to sleep.

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Another Veteran's Day Tribute

Donnie over at Ain't Done It has been won over to the "Dark Side"...heh...He has posted a poem in honor of his Brothers in the 7th ID...Good job, Donnie...the poem was a perfect gift to them...Tennyson would be proud...

oh...and as an aside, there is absolutely nothing wrong with reading, writing, posting, or reciting poems...which reminds me..dangit...I have GOT to post more Robert Service to day...I've been slackin' in the "Arts and Leisure" department...

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Oh, the SHAME..

....were to start?....hell, all my life I've heard my Friends and Family refer to Kentuckians as Hillbillies...hell, WE are hillbiliies...but, for some reason, my family always busted on Kentuckians..and NOW I KNOW the reason....heh..they make TENNESSEE Hillbillies look like YUPPIES....

Male inmate passed as woman for months - Exam confirms gender; prisoner moved

By Tom Loftus
The Courier-Journal

FRANKFORT - You could call it a case of mistaken sexual identity.

An inmate at the Kentucky Correctional Institution for Women was moved to an isolation cell Monday after the prisoner said he is a man and a physical examination verified it.

Billie Jo Hawks, 43, of Battletown, had been admitted to the women's prison near Pewee Valley on Oct.22 and was housed in a dorm with female inmates. For eight months before that, Hawks was held in the women's section of the Meade County Detention Center on convictions of first-degree trafficking in a controlled substance and cultivating marijuana.


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I'm Worried...

Ok, I was just over at my old blogspot site looking for that post about Hookers and Cosmos...and it struck me....after moving to MT, I have gotten a LOT less this a good thing?...ahhh, screw it...time for some more gutter scraping...and, as George Thorogood would say..."and AWAAAY we gooo!"

THIS article is enough to make you want to do a BUNCH of things all at once...1. Puke yer guts out...2. Hunt down the chef, and gut him with his Ginsu knife...and 3. see if it is might need it later...heh...

Four women sue Irvine restaurant after one says she found condom in her chowder
Associated Press

SANTA ANA, Calif. - Four women sued an Irvine restaurant after one of them said she found a condom in her clam chowder when they dined there last year.

Laila Sultan said she was eating at McCormick & Schmick's Seafood Restaurant on Feb. 26, 2002, when she bit into something rubbery.

"We said, `Of course. You're chewing on a clam,'" said Paula Wild, one of her dining companions.

When she spit it out, Sultan, 48, said she discovered it was an unwrapped, rolled-up condom.

Good she HONESTLY trying to say that she couldn't tell the difference between a CLAM and an OVERCOAT?...

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by Eric on Nov 11, 2003 | Comments(7) | TrackBack (2) | Psycho Rants
» Argghhh!!! The Home of one of Jonah's Military Guys© links with: I got an email from a GFW* today.
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: The Champagne Room

I Received a Request...

Since I can't get all my dang Blogspot crap imported over here, I have gotten a request to re-post my "Only Hookers Drink Cosmos" post on THIS though you have already probably read it, here it is again...heh...

Another Story From my Life...

Usually, I just post jokes that crack me up,...or news stories that show me how crazy people are....but, sometimes, I get in the mood to tell a story...and I'm in one of those moods, here is a story about humor, attraction, drinking too much, watching too much TV, blind dates, wrong things to say, and come-backs....anyway, off to the story..

Once upon a time, I had a cousin named, Scott is 6 foot 4, and about 235...big ole fella...anyway, I met this girl at work named Charlene...she was brunette, 5 foot 2...AND she was a real cutie, and smart to, being that Scott was a nice guy, I decided....for the FIRST time in my life, that I'd play Cupid...and I arranged to have them both over to my house for dinner....that way, everything would be on neutral ground, there would be another "couple" around - me and the missus..and if things didn't go well, either one of them could bail after they had eaten my famous spaghetti and downed a few glasses of problem, right?

Well, Charlene arrived, after greeting her at the door, I offered to make her a drink...she asked for a "Midori", and I didn't have, firstly, this was a bit of a shock...for all NORMAL people, I have a fairly well stocked bar right here in my house, but nope...I didn't have any, she said..."Oh, I really like midori..."...she didn't drink very much, you see....ANYWAY, I say, "Well, if you like sweet drinks, maybe you'd like one of my famous Cosmopolitans?"......she proceeded to ask what was in it, etc...and I was explaining it as I mixed it, about this time, Scott rings the wife lets him in, since I'm busy mixing a drink for Charlene....and he ambles his way into the kitchen..

"Hello, Scott! This is Charlene, that I've been telling you about for the past two weeks...what do you think? A real cutie, eh?" course, Charlene blushes a little at the compliment, giggles a little, and turns towards Scott for his opening now, my wife has walked around the corner and is in the edge of the kitchen ....just waiting to see if she can see any "chemistry" between them.....but Scott just stands there eyeing Charlene up and down....and you could tell that there was an attraction between, Charlene takes the Cosmo and starts to take a sip....and Scott, sensing that it is time for him to say something, says..."What's that you are drinking?"....

Charlene takes the delicate cocktail glass down from her lips, and says..."a Cosmopolitan, I like it.." which....Scott utters the best "first-date-one-liner" I've ever heard......

"DANG! Only hookers drink cosmos"...

You could have heard a pin drop...Charlene nearly spills her drink... the wife punches Scott in the arm....and I collapse in uncontrollable laughter....Charlene...slowly looks up at Scott and says..."Has anyone ever told you that you bear an INCREDIBLE likeness to Randy Quaid from National Lampoon's Vacation?"....I thought I was gonna pee my pants when she said that....

In any case, the night fared better from there on out...we had a good meal...but, the damage had been done....EVEN when Scott tried to tell her that he was just trying to be funny, and that he'd heard that quote from some movie...the damage was DONE already....any "chemistry" they had at that first sight was crushed beyond repair after his opening statement....anyway....I still rag him about looking like Randy Quaid...BWHAHAHA...Charlene actually tried to console him later on that night by telling him that she thought Randy Quaid was quite handsome and sexy...but it never he's got a Randy Quaid complex...which serves him right....

So...the moral of this story...if you watch too many movies...and you start to memorize the is a bad thing..stop will eventually come back at an inopportune time and bite you in the buttocks....and...when dating...DON'T make a joke when you first meet your girl...say something nice..Hell, even Scott saying..."DAMN!! Nice TITS!!" would have been a better first statement than that hooker comment....

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A Veteran's Story..

A wonderful tale of a East Tennessee Veteran is currently up over at South Knox Bubba's site.....Give it a read if you get a is long, but so are most people's stories...and it is worth the effort...

"We struck out across the ocean heading for North Africa. It took us about 21 or 22 days to cross. I never saw such a storm in my life. There were waves that were twice as high as the ship. Lots of time when you got in the trough of that wave, you couldn't see the ship next to you, which was usually no more than 50 yards away.

They kept that convoy real close and the German U-Boats had been sinking a lot of ships from those convoys going over. So naturally, we were concerned about that. We took a lot of safety or evacuation drills. Of course, if you had dropped off into that sea, as rough as some of those 30 foot high waves were, if you had dropped out into that, there would be no way you'd ever survive because it was cold as the dickens. You might as well have just gone down with the ship but didn't have enough sense to know the difference. "

Go HERE for the rest...

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by Eric on Nov 11, 2003 | Comments(0) | TrackBack (2) | Military Stuff
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Veterans Day
» University Blog links with: Untitled Entry

Time to Cook Steaks and Mourn..

I know, I is the glorious Corps' birthday...and tomorrow is Veteran's Day....and I've had to work BOTH days....anyway...I posted earlier in the week about all of the Marines in my family that I had known and loved...a few of which are here with me tonight in Spirit...and, a few who will NEVER be with me ever again EXCEPT in Spirit...maybe in my dreams, or in some afterlife.....I'm going outside to my grill in a few minutes....tonight's bloggin is done....I'm going to cook a steak, and remember my Father, my Grandfather, my Great Uncle Rob, and my Great Uncle George...they are all vets that I miss greatly....people that I think of every single day of my life....and I miss, you can take this Veteran's Day however you see fit...I, on the other hand, am going to mourn...

I feel worse on Veteran's Day than I do on my Father's birthday, or on the anniversary of the day he died...when I joined the Corps, I looked upon my Father from that day forward as a Brother AND a Father....he was, and will always be my Dad, but he is also my Brother is quite difficult to explain..I love him, and I miss him...more and more each day.


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by Eric on Nov 10, 2003 | Comments(5) | TrackBack (1) | Military Stuff
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Veterans Day

Tun Tavern Revisited...

228 years ago today, like minded men got together in a bar in Philadelphia. The name of the joint was Tun Tavern, and the year was 1775. After much drinking, political conversation, pinching of the serving wench's buttocks, and a few bar brawls, the gentlemen present created the Marine Corps.

....and Marines around the world continue to follow in the sterling footsteps of their forebearers...

Happy Birthday to ALL of my brothers and sisters!! Semper Fidelis!

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by Eric on Nov 10, 2003 | Comments(5) | TrackBack (1) | Military Stuff
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Marine Corps

The Truth Hurts....

The National Transportation Safety Board recently divulged that they had for the past five years covertly funded a project with US auto makers whereby the auto makers installed black boxes in four-wheel drive pickup trucks in an effort to determine, in fatal accidents, the circumstances in the last 15 seconds before
the crash.

They were surprised to find in 45 of the 50 states that the last words of drivers in 61.2 percent of fatal crashes were, "Oh, Shit!"

Only the states of Mississippi, Missouri, Arkansas, Alabama, Texas and Tennessee were different, where over 89.3 percent of the final words were: "Here, hold my beer and watch this."

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MUST Read...

If you have not read the President's latest speech, you need to give yourself a quick, sharp kick in the ass....go now and read THIS....

It should be clear to all that Islam -- the faith of one-fifth of humanity -- is consistent with democratic rule. Democratic progress is found in many predominantly Muslim countries -- in Turkey and Indonesia, and Senegal and Albania, Niger and Sierra Leone. Muslim men and women are good citizens of India and South Africa, of the nations of Western Europe, and of the United States of America.

More than half of all the Muslims in the world live in freedom under democratically constituted governments. They succeed in democratic societies, not in spite of their faith, but because of it. A religion that demands individual moral accountability, and encourages the encounter of the individual with God, is fully compatible with the rights and responsibilities of self-government.

..and THIS...

Some skeptics of democracy assert that the traditions of Islam are inhospitable to the representative government. This "cultural condescension," as Ronald Reagan termed it, has a long history. After the Japanese surrender in 1945, a so-called Japan expert asserted that democracy in that former empire would "never work." Another observer declared the prospects for democracy in post-Hitler Germany are, and I quote, "most uncertain at best" -- he made that claim in 1957. Seventy-four years ago, The Sunday London Times declared nine-tenths of the population of India to be "illiterates not caring a fig for politics." Yet when Indian democracy was imperiled in the 1970s, the Indian people showed their commitment to liberty in a national referendum that saved their form of government.

Hat tip to Say Anything for the post...via Everyday Stranger's Blogroll....

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Mysterious Blogger

As everyone who reads this site must know by now, a group of Jawjuh bloggers..(and one knighted *honorary* Jawjuh blogger) got together in Dahlonega for a old-style Southern shindig...much fun was had by one and all, and it looks like the winner of the "bringing up the rear" award goes to Key Monroe...Key is the LAST blogger present to post their thoughts on the wild, have a visit...

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Now THIS is my kind of woman.....

Hat tip to Curmudgeonly & Skeptical for the link...

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by Eric on Nov 09, 2003 | Comments(5) | TrackBack (1) | Jokes
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Marine Corps

Aurora Borealis

Most people will remember C.W. McCall for the famous trucker song Convoy, or from the movie starring Kris Kristofferson. His style of Rocky Mountain humor is fantastic. But, I best remember C.W. McCall for writing Aurora Borealis...I can't count the times that I have sat by a campfire and recited the lyrics to this song. I recited it last night while watching the eclipse. If you are not familiar with this song, you are missing with all of my posts of this type, this song shoud be read aloud...don't worry, no one will hear you...

Aurora Borealis by C.W. McCall

One night last summer we were camped at ten thousand feet up where the air is clear, high in the Rockies at Lost Lake, Colorado. And as the fire burned low and only a few glowing coals remained, we lay on our backs all warm in our sleeping bags and looked up at the stars.

And as I felt myself falling into the vastness of the Universe, I thought about things, and places, and times.

I thought about the time my grandma told me what to say when I saw the evening star. You know, Star light, star bright, first star I see tonight. I wish I may, I wish I might, have the wish I wish tonight.

The air is crystal-clear up here; that's why you can see a million stars.

I remember a time a bunch of us were in a canyon of the Green River in Wyoming; it was a night like this. And we had our rafts pulled up on the bank an' turned over so we could sleep on 'em, and one of the guys from New York said, "Hey! Look at the smog in the sky! Smog clear out here in the sticks!" And somebody said, "Hey, Joe, that's not smog; that's the Milky Way."

Joe had never seen the Milky Way.

And we saw the Northern Lights once, in the Bitterroot Mountains of Montana. They're like flames from some prehistoric campfire, leaping and dancing in the sky and changing colors. Red to gold, and blue to violet... Aurora Borealis. It's like the equinox, the changing of the seasons. Summer to fall, young to old, then to now. And then tomorrow...

And then everyone was asleep, except me. And as I saw the morning star come up over the mountains, I realized that life is just a collection of memories. And memories are like starlight: they go on forever.

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Happy Birthday, Brothers..

The United States Marine Corps will be 228 years old tomorrow. I want to take this time to recognize a few members of my family, and all my other Brothers and Sisters who have served, and who continue to serve.

My Father - Cpl, USMC, 1966-69, 1st Shore Party Bn, 1st MARDIV, Vietnam, Hue City, Da Nang

My Uncle Tommy - Cpl, USMC, 1965-1969, 24th Marines, Vietnam - Khe Sahn

My Cousin Mike - Sgt, USMC, 1966-1969, 3rd Recon, Vietnam

My Great Uncle Frank - Sgt, USMC, 1942-1945, Mike Battery, 14th Artillery, 4th MARDIV, WWII - Siapan, Tinian, Iwo Jima

I raise my glass tonight, and give you the traditional toast...

Absentibus Amicis

Semper Fi

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by Eric on Nov 09, 2003 | Comments(0) | TrackBack (1) | Military Stuff
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Marine Corps

Lunar Eclipse

Last night there was an eclipse. The wife and I had managed to drag the old telescope out into the driveway, and we watched the whole thing transpire. It was quite beautiful, and it was the first time that either of us had seen this type of eclipse.

We stood around in the drive staring up at the stars, and watching the moon disapear behind the shadow of the Earth. I had made dinner earlier, so our bellies were full as we stood around the telescope with our evening drinks. The air was crisp and chilly, and the sky was perfectly clear. The Milky Way was clearly visible, too.

As I stood there, focusing the telescope on the moon, I remembered another Space-related news item that struck my interest - Voyager has LEFT the Solar System. Yeah, you heard that right. To me, Voyager leaving our Solar System gives me the same excitement that Lewis and Clark must have felt when they set out on their journey of exploration...

If you missed the eclipse last night, you missed a wonderous event...

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one word...*whew*....wait...two more words...*HOT DAYUM!!!*

Tennessee 10....Miami 6...IN MIAMI....

Get the whole twisted tale of a dashed National Championship chance HERE...Muahahahahah

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Another DAMN Quiz...

I wanted to be Papa H., but Faulkner will DEFINITELY do..heh....

William Faulkner
William Faulkner wrote you. Yes, you're a genius,
you drunken old coot.

Which Author's Fiction are You?
brought to you by Quizilla

Hat tip to Kelly for the link...

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Uplifting Morning Reading

I love this speech...yes, I think that "romantics" HAVE changed the world..."ideas" are what move people...

Thanks to Silent Running for the tip...

Let who may tear their hair off. Let them protest until their lungs puncture and shout until their throats bleed. This is it. It is like all great movements in history, characterised by singlemindedness and overpowering impulse. The old style of european imperialism, which aimed at exploitation, cheap raw materials, and keeping people backward and in a state of peasant low existance, has gone and is no longer suitable for the world. A globalised world where every body can enjoy the freedoms and benefits taken for granted by the "advanced" world. This is liberal neo-imperialism. Is it eutopean, is it unrealisable ? I don't know the answer. But the campaign is already under way.

Go HERE for the rest...

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Another Quizzy Thing...

Hi, my name is Eric...and it has been 2 minutes since my last quiz...oh,, that is for a different audience...I admit it....I cannot RESIST taking all these damn, here are the latest results...pretty accurate too....ESPECIALLY if you know some of my friends....

Which Founding Father Are You?

Hat Tip to The Everlasting Phelps for the link...

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Scrappleface Does it again...

Sometime this guy just NAILS it...and this is one...HA!

2003-11-07) -- Democrat presidential candidate Howard Dean today blasted President George Bush for fostering an economic recovery that deprives thousands of Americans of their leisure time. The attack comes on the day the Labor Department reported that payrolls grew by 126,000 last month, more than twice the number economists had predicted.

"Work, work, work," said Mr. Dean, shaking his head in evident disgust. "Is that the American you want to leave for your children? Do you want to live in a nation where GDP and productivity and the stock market continue to rise? Where's the balance?"

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My First Poem...

I was just looking through some boxes of old stuff that my Mother had collected and saved of my childhood...and I found a reeeeeal nugget...It was scribbled by my tiny little 6 year old hands...the FIRST poem I EVER the age of 6...dang...I musta been a WEIRD little critter...anyway, I am SURE that you all are just twitching in your seats waiting to find out what it is...right?...yeah,, here it is...wether you want it, or NOT...

Fishy, fishy, in the brook
Daddy caught you with a hook
Momma fried you in the pan
and Baby ate you like a man

heh..see?....and I've been hooked on poety and rhymes ever, more than likely, there will be MORE poetry tonight...I've left my "beat the shit out of someone" mood, and..with the help of a few wee drams, have found my "bore the shit out of people you don't know with incessant poetry" mood...

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by Eric on Nov 07, 2003 | Comments(1) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Who Would You Kill?

Cats Vs. Dogs... vote is for cats....heh..I just found THIS over at Fox News...

A study has shown that domestic cats infected with a parasite called toxoplasma gondii can actually alter the personalities of their human owners, turning women into “sex kittens" and men into “alley cats.”

I expect to hear a report of pet stores being sold out of pussycats VEEEERY soon...

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by Eric on Nov 07, 2003 | Comments(1) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» The Cheese Stands Alone links with: Another Quiz

What a Small World...

I have quite a few "It's A Small World" stories....and, I may get to them here later...but this one is brand new....heh...and pretty dang weird....

A young woman that I work with has a boyfriend from the west coast....turns out, he used to WORK with Gary know, the confessed Green River Murderer....and while working with him, used to taunt him...TO HIS calling him "Scary Gary" and just generally saying what a weird bastard he thought Gary was....

Can you imagine that? day, you are picking on a weirdo at work, and the NEXT day, you see that he has mercilessly killed 48 people???...the USA's SECOND most prolific serial killer, and you've been calling him a dweeb for the past few years??....sorry, folks,....I just think that is WEIRD....

I guess it just goes to show you, should always be nice to people you don't never know what kind of freak they REALLY are until you get to know them..

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by Eric on Nov 06, 2003 | Comments(5) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart

Republican Thinking...

I just found this example of Republican Thinking over at Diary Date....I thought it hit the nail on the head....heh....

A young woman was about to finish her first year of college. Like so many others her age she considered herself to be a very liberal Democrat and was for distribution of all wealth. She felt deeply ashamed that her father was a rather staunch Republican which she expressed openly.

One day she was challenging her father on his beliefs and his opposition to higher taxes on the rich & more welfare programs. In the middle of her heart-felt diatribe based upon the lectures she had from her far left professors at her school, he stopped her and asked her point blank, how she was doing in school.

She answered rather haughtily that she had a 4.0 GPA, and let him know that it was tough to maintain. That she had to study all the time, never had time to go out and party like other people she knew. She didn't even have time for a boyfriend and didn't really have many college friends because of spending all her time studying. That she was taking a more difficult curriculum.

Her father listened and then asked, "How is your friend Mary?"

Go HERE for the rest...

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by Eric on Nov 06, 2003 | Comments(0) | TrackBack (1) | Jokes
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart

Anger Management

I just heard this story...and it is a classic....

For all of you who occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk, when I remembered a phone call I had forgotten to make. I found the number, and dialed it. A man answered saying, "Hello?"

I politely said, "This is Fred Hanifin, could I please speak with Robin Carter?" Suddenly, the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that anyone could be so rude.

I tracked down Robin's correct number, and called her. (I had transposed the last two digits of her phone number). After hanging up with her, I decided to call the "wrong number" again. When the same guy answered the phone, I yelled,
"You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down, with the word "asshole" next to it, and put it in my desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!". It always cheered me up.

When Caller ID came to our area, I thought my therapeutic "asshole" calling would have to stop. So, I called his number and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the Telephone Company. I'm just calling to see if you're familiar with the Caller ID program?" he yelled, "NO!" and slammed the phone down. I
quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!"

So, one day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some boy in a black BMW cut me off, and pulled into the spot I had patiently waited for. I hit the horn and yelled that I had been waiting for the spot. The idiot
ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his car window, so I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his number on speed dial), I thought I had better call the BMW asshole, too.. I dialed and someone said, "Hello?" I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?" "Yes it is. "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

"Yes, I live at 1802 West 34th Street. It's a yellow house and the car's parked right out front."

"What's your name?" I asked. "My name is Don Hansen," he said. "When's a good time to catch you, Don?" "I'm home every evening after five." "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

"Yes?" "Don, you're an asshole!" Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had a problem, I had two assholes to call...

But after several months of calling them, it wasn't as enjoyable as it used to be. So, I came up with an idea: I called Asshole #1.

"You're an asshole!" (but I didn't hang up).
"Are you still there?" he asked.
"Yeah", I said.
"Stop calling me", he screamed...
"Make me", I said.
"Who are you?" he asked.
"My name is Don Hansen."
"Where do you live?"
"Asshole, I live at 1802 West 34th Street, a yellow house with my black Beemer parked in front."
He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying your prayers."
I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole."

Then I called asshole #2.
"Hello?" he said.
"Hello Asshole", I said...
He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are...."
"You'll what?" I said.
"I'll kick your ass", he exclaimed.
I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now".

Then, I hung up, and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 1802 West 34th Street, and I was on my way over there to kill my gay lover. Then, I called Channel 13 news about the gang war going down on West 34th Street... I
quickly got into my car and headed over to 34th Street.

There, I saw two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of 6 squad cars, a police helicopter, and a news crew.

Now, I feel better.

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by Eric on Nov 06, 2003 | Comments(4) | TrackBack (1) | Jokes
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart


After re-reading my last post for the past 10 minutes, and getting madder and madder, I'm going to the living room to watch Rugby...maybe that'll get all the violent thoughts out of my system....I NEED to do that from time to time.....


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Chivalry is NOT Dead..

Bad Language Alert....sorry folks...

I've been reading more blogs today than writing....and one theme seems to be circulating right now in the blogosphere....Chivalry is least it APPEARS to be when you start reading some of the crazy bastards out there...Trolls to the left of me..Trolls to the right of me....Asshelmeted VOLVO-MEN in front of me....well, DAMMIT, I'm about to "Volley and Thunder".....I swear to GOD, I've had ENOUGH.......I am not a violent person...even in SPITE of what the Corps taught me...but, if you threaten me OR my family, you will find yourself damaged...It's not because I am a big man, or a tough man, good at fighting, is because, deep down, I am a fair man...You have your beliefs, and I respect long as you don't try to enforce them upon ME...when you do that, you're in for a fight...we ALL should treat each other with fairness and respect...if you don't, then you are an asshole, and you deserve to get thumped....

Hell, maybe I'm just having a bad day or something, but right now, I have three overwhelming urges....

1. To fly to Sweden and kick the ever-loving shit out of Volvoman...I'd like to see that fucking smarmy retard try that shit while I'm there...

2. To drive to Hotlanta and have lunch with Donnie and PRAY those psycho-fucknuggets show up...


3. Drive to Savannah and sit on the Acidman's front porch...


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by Eric on Nov 05, 2003 | Comments(12) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart

Random Thoughts of Today

This morning, while I was on my way to work at 0620, I ran over a deer...well, I didn't actually run OVER it....sorta just body-checked it with my Audi...the dumbass just stood there in the other lane watching me come towards it until I got right beside it...I had slowed down, of course...and then it ran straight into the side of my car...

I couldn’t see it after I passed was still too dark out...but, when I got to work and checked out my car, I had deer snot and slobber all over my driver's side blood, though, which was, I guess she just ran off into the woods and counted her any case, I learned that deer are really least, until you try to hunt them...

I read a lot of blogs, and a lot of people are going through a lot of weird stuff right, I just thought I'd tell you people some of MY problems....Deer want to commit suicide in my presence...THIS time, it didn't work...but if she'd busted a headlight, I'd have chased her down and capped her with my 9...

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by Eric on Nov 05, 2003 | Comments(4) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart

Blogging for SEX???

wow...I never really thought of it this way.....

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by Eric on Nov 05, 2003 | Comments(2) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart

What NEXT?

It seems that kids are getting a bit too fussy about eating healthy....and they don't want to drink their milk...Actually, I can't really blame them...I mean, if you stop and think about where milk comes from, it is pretty disgusting...but, I love milk anyway...anyway, if we have to put CAFFEINE in milk to lure the children into drinking it....I can't WAIT for the strawberry flavored spinach...OH YEAH....go HERE for the rest...

How do you get teens to crave milk? Load it with caffeine.

Hyper Cow, a new brand from Maplewood-based milk producer Schroeder Co., wins the dubious distinction of being the first caffeinated milk beverage.

Available starting Saturday, it will be sold exclusively for the next few months at Super America. It comes in three flavors: Straight Up Strawberry, Chocolate Shock and Mean Mocha Cappuccino. There is as much caffeine and sugar as in a can of regular Coke and a lot more calories — approximately 400 per 16-ounce bottle. But the main ingredient is 2 percent milk.

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by Eric on Nov 05, 2003 | Comments(0) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart

Final Thoughts...

I have seen a LOT of great writing...Donnie, Kelly, Siso, and Adam have put a LOT of effort into trying to describe the scene of the Blogmeet to you all...they have done an incredible job...however, I want to take a different approach...I want to give everyone a different view of, here is MY rundown of events...

1. Quote of the Blogmeet - was when Recondo32 said the epic line of ..."You lying Motherf**ker"...sorry guys, but THAT was a classic...

2. I sang "Blue Eyes Crying in the Rain" to the collected bloggers...and they didn't run me off...although, I'm not sure if Kelly telling me I sounded like Willie Nelson was a compliment or a smackdown..heh...

3. Acidman stole my punchline from my BEST monkey joke..dangit...I LOVE that monkey joke...HA!

4. Watching Adam slump into his chair from too much booze whilst Dax and I continued drinking was a classic moment...sorry, Adam...WE WON!!...

5. Talking with Donnie and his Bride, and them letting me mooch food...those clams were great, dude....Thanks...

6. Telling our waitress that I had a librarian fetish was pretty cool...It's hard to tell when a brunette with glasses blushes, but I think she did....

7. Listening to Kenny play the guitar, and talking Rugby with him....the next time he is camping in Tennessee, I hope he gives me a holler..

8. Meeting the Acidman...but more importantly, saying goodbye to the Acidman in the company of Adam and Dax on Sunday morning...I was truly sad that it was all over....I enjoyed every minute of it...and I hope that we can do it again...

9. Sisoflexx...I got to meet the meanest woman who ever walked the planet...and for those of you who are interested, she lives in, it looks like when the Devil Went Down To Georgia, he STAYED in the guise of Siso..and her husband and Rachel didn't cut me any slack EITHER...HA!

10. When Dax passed me my first...and only....Red Slut...dang, that thing was AWESOME..

11. Walking up that trail to the cabin in total friggin' darkness...while drunker than Dammit....I was sure that one of us was going to die...

12. Attempting to quote a Robert Service poem to Donnie and Bride...and forgetting the dang thing halfway through...I'll remember THAT one for EVER...

13. Watching Siso kiss someone's feet is forEVER engraved in my psyche...more than likely, I will need counseling later in my life to overcome the trauma...

14. Taking a photo of Kelly "exhaling" a large cloud of tobacco smoke...ahhhh sigh...

15. Hearing the Acidman sing and play his guitar among good friends and flowing booze...with Georgia harmonizing....classic...

16. Asking Angie how her mother was being spanked....I'm not sure if I'll EVER live that one down....

17. Being in a cabin in the middle of NO WHERE, and being told to "keep it down" by the neighbors...

18. Arriving at the bar at 12:30 for a 3:00 meetup and finding the drunken varmints ALREADY there.....

19. Watching everyone present enjoy themselves, and be glad to be there...

20. Realizing...after the fact...that I had met some incredible individuals...and that I hope to keep in contact with each one of them...and make SURE that this happens again...

So, there you have it, top 20 things that have stuck in my mind about my little travel to Georgia....I know there are other things that I could say, but I will stop here....This list is in no particular order, either...I simply wrote them down as they popped into my mind....I just want to extend a personal thanks to everyone that I met there...and say that I enjoyed every minute of guys rock..


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by Eric on Nov 04, 2003 | Comments(9) | TrackBack (1) | Psycho Rants
» Madfish Willie's Cyber Saloon links with: Beer Fart

Wrap Your Sharia Around THIS, Allah..

This is a breath of fresh air...I love this article on so many, many about "leading", and changing people's minds by "example"..check out THIS quote...

It's standard procedure for this Army civil-affairs unit, but there's a subtle feminine touch. Major Paine is a woman. So is Captain Callaham. So is the psychological operations Spc. Andrea Vivers, who hands out pro-government propaganda and Beanie Babies donated by an American Girl Scout troop.

The conversation with Afghan villagers is neighborly, but the subtext is gently radical: I am woman - now, let's rebuild your country

"You would hope that seeing women from America doing these jobs would have an effect," says Paine, commander of the US Army's civil-affairs unit at Kandahar air base. "Afghans are not used to seeing females in the military. When we first arrived, we used to ask the village leaders, 'Do you have a problem working with women?' And they said, 'We understand that's your culture and we will work with you.' And for our part, we try to work with them in their culture."

Intentional or not, some see a delicious irony in having female soldiers operating here in Kandahar. After all, this was the birthplace of the Taliban, the hard-line Islamist regime that forced women to quit their jobs and wear head-to-toe veils. Today, in villages where mothers and daughters still flee at the arrival of any stranger, Afghan men are getting an object lesson in women's empowerment. If they want to work with the US, occasionally they will have to work with American women and treat them as equals.

Whether this lesson has any lasting effect, however, is an open question. The two-year-long American presence has not set off a feminist revolution - no veil burnings, no street protests, no student movements demanding women's rights. Experts say that Afghan culture has a time-tested resistance to outside influences.

"My impression is that they view Americans as another species of animal, and one of the characteristics of this animal is that they let their women work as soldiers," says David Edwards, an anthropologist at Williams College and specialist on Afghan culture. "The Afghans see the Americans and say, 'They drink, they eat pork, they don't fast during Ramadan. There's a whole package of things they do that we don't do.' "

Go HERE for the whole article...

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Baaaad Joke of the Day

As George is walking past his son's bedroom late one night, he hears the unmistakable sound of his offspring playing with himself.

George quickly opens the bedroom door and says, in his stern holier-than-thou voice: "Son! If you keep on doing that and you're going to go blind!"

The youth replied: "Hey, Dad... I'm over here."

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There's Always a Bright Side...

This post is for Dax...Scaryoke sounds pretty bad to me...and I know how the nights of karaoke must scar your mind....but, hey....look on the bright side...things can ALWAYS be worse....

BERLIN, Conn. -- You can leave your hat on.

The rules of naked karaoke are simple: Amateur singers grab a microphone, sans clothing, and belt out tunes in the buff.

Bristol Station Cafe owner Marty St. Pierre says he was just kidding around when he advertised such an event in front of his bar. Then he got volunteers. Lots of them.

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Anyone ever heard about those people who lick toads to get a buzz?...I have..I don't think I've ever met one of them, though...but then again, how would you recognize a toad licker?...wait...that's just WEIRD..don't answer that....

I just found this link off of, this guy is SO BUSTED...I'm not sure what the street value of "clicking froglets" is, but it sounds really expensive...usually, most of your imported dopage is pretty pricey....not that I'd know, of course....I'm just sayin....anyway, would you buy your "squelching froglets " by the ounce, or by the lick?....

Prosecutors allege Linley's suitcases had held 27 different species of Western Australian wildlife, including three cockroaches. The reptiles included types of geckos, skinks and snakes. Frogs included clicking froglets, squelching froglets and desert tree frogs.

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Never Fear, Children..

It looks like there is hope for the male reader's of my blog after all....all ya gotta do is move to Brazil for a while...heh...

Brazilian doctors offering free penis enlargement surgery

A group of Brazilian doctors are offering free penis enlargment surgery on the internet.

About 3,000 men have reportedly signed up for the plastic surgery since the campaign was launched by 35 doctors at the weekend.

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In Response..MY side of the Story..

Well, for those of you who are a bit intrigued by THIS STATEMENT....let me explain...., there is too much...let me sum up....

This young lady was telling a story at the cabin.......someone suggested that she needed a good spanking....I don't recall who exactly that was, but when THAT had been said, she changed her story, and said something like..."Oh, that reminds me of ANOTHER story!..."....and she began to tell us about her Mother getting spanked by her date...anyway, yeah...this just keeps getting better and, being nearly drunk....well...a'hem...a LOT drunk, I piped up and said...."What kind of spanking was he giving your Mother?"..., at this point, everyone's ears perked up....I think that most of the people in the room thought there WAS only one kind of spanking....anyway, she rose to the bait, and said..."Uh, what do you mean?"....

So, I said....well, when you heard them, was it like "Smack! OWW!...Smack! OWWW!!"....or was it more like..."Thump, Click, Ungghhh....Thump, Click, Uhhhh".....which is usually followed by either a bad 70s soundtrack, or shouts of "Ohhhh BAYYYBEEEE"... is a "spanking" being given by a hand to her poor Mother...and the OTHER one is a "Nut Spanking" in...spanking her ass with your nuts...sorry...once again, I am TOTALLY lowering the tone of this blog....but, I must say, I was NOT the one who mentioned this...but since people are going to read it and be now know that there are indeed TWO types of spanking....Heh...

So, a new phrase was introduced to all attending.....nut spanked....

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by Eric on Nov 03, 2003 | Comments(2) | TrackBack (3) | Psycho Rants
» A Single Guy In The South links with: Jawja Blogger Meet-Up Recap
» Ain't Done It! links with: After Action Review
» A Single Guy In The South links with: Blogger Impressions

Drunken Dreams

No, was NOT a dream....heh...

Nothing starts a morning off like a cup of coffee...and some good, old-fashioned pervy bastard....

Anyone else remember this?...hmmm... the camera doesn't lie....also, anyone wanna fess-up and claim these feet?...

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by Eric on Nov 03, 2003 | Comments(10) | TrackBack (2) | Psycho Rants
» Gut Rumbles links with: picking up the pieces
» Ain't Done It! links with: You Can't Go Back

I'm BACK..

Miss me?....yeah, yeah, yeah...I know...anyway, I got to meet some really great people over the weekend at the Blogmeet in Dahlonega.....I'll list them all as soon as I can REMEMBER who all was head is still thumping from chasing Red Headed Sluts with Scotch....shut the hell up, and stop laughing...a "Red Headed Slut" is a DRINK...sheesh...get your frickin' mind out of the gutter...heh....

All I am at liberty to discuss at this juncture is this...just a few facts...

1. Began drinking at 12:30pm on Saturday afternoon...
2. Stopped drinking at 5:00am on Sunday morning...
3. Slept till 9am Sunday morning..
4. Drove for three hours to get back home..
5. Everyone who arrived alive at the party left alive....

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by Eric on Nov 02, 2003 | Comments(8) | TrackBack (3) | Psycho Rants
» Blackfive - The Paratrooper of Love links with: Best O' My Blogosphere Today
» baldilocks links with: Fun in the South
» suburban blight links with: Jawja Blogger 2003, Baby.